The Week of 1000 Trades: Carmelo Anthony Edition

With the NBA just days away, I figured I commemorate the occasion with 1000 (give or take) trade ideas venturing from entertainingly absurd to soberly realistic.  Today, Carmelo Anthony scenarios.

One and Counting: That was fun while it lasted

Yikes.  If there has been a play that serves as a microcosm of the nightmare that is the 2010-11 Cleveland Cavaliers' season, it has to be John Wall's coast-to-coast layup with 4 seconds left at the end of the first half of the Cavs' 115-100 loss to the Washington Wizards Sunday night.  Wall's score came after a monstrous Christian Eyenga jam (whom some pals and I watched a minor league hockey game "with" one luxury suite over at the Q on Saturday night, and who by all indications does not understand the sport of hockey) that seemed to build some momentum for the hometown Cavs heading into the locker room.  And then Wall waltzed down the court to the opposite hoop, and the game was over, Eyenga's slam all but forgotten.  It was like Friday's exhilarating win over the Clippers (Eyenga's dunk) followed by Sunday's pathetic showing against the Wizards (Wall's layup) compressed into a 5-second sequence.  What a turd sandwich.

The Case Against Rajon Rondo

Last week, on his podcast the BS Report, Bill Simmons was discussing his upcoming NBA trade value column (here is last year's; it's an absolute must-read) with his buddy Joe House.  As they made their way through the list, I was not at all surprised that Rajon Rondo made his top 13.  While I allowed for the fact that he was probably 5-10 spots too high thanks to Simmons's Boston leanings, I accepted such a lofty ranking for Rondo thanks to his standing among Derrick Rose and Russell Westbrook as the premier young point guards in the league and his relatively team-friendly contract.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I wondered if Boston would really turn down a Chris Paul-for-Rondo deal (as Simmons ascertains*), or even a John Wall-for-Rondo deal.

26 And Counting: Shuffling Furniture On The Deck of the Titantic

Well, the Cavs lost again, this time in humiliating fashion to the Detroit Pistons.  So why not celebrate with a trade with those very Pistons?


Trade #1

Cavs get:
Richard Hamilton
Charlie Villanueva
Ben Gordon
Jason Maxiell
Detroit's 2011 2nd Round Pick

Pistons get:
Antawn Jamison
Mo Williams
Anthony Parker

25 And Counting

I wouldn't mind seeing Bill Walker do this in the Q.

As the Cavs firmly plant themselves in the record book for all of the wrong reasons, let's celebrate with another trade idea to save them from themselves.


Trade #1

Cavs get:
Eddy Curry
Bill Walker
Anthony Randolph
Jamal Crawford

Knicks get:
Carmelo Anthony
Al Harrington
Mo Williams

Nuggets get:
Wilson Chandler
Toney Douglas
Kelenna Azubuike
Jeff Teague
Danilo Gallinari
Miami's 2013 #1 pick ( via Cleveland)
Atlanta's 2012 #1 pick

Hawks get:
Chauncey Billups
Timofey Mozgov

Three Trades To Change The Cavs

(Who the hell is Alonzo Gee?)


When my girlfriend and I decided to forgo getting cable, I was concerned I would miss watching the Cavs.  As the losses pile up in ever-more humiliating fashion, however, I feel more and more like not getting cable was the the best decision I've made in years.  It has become exceedingly apparent that even though there may be some talent on the roster, the Cavs need to turn that roster over, and soon.  There is just too much of a funk hanging over these guys, and it would probably be best if they all tried to reclaim their careers elsewhere.  Hence, my three trade ideas to change the Cavs.  Notice I'm not promising to make the Cavs any better; in order for them to win at the the level Clevelanders have become accustomed to the past 5 or so years, the Cavs are going to need some serious lottery luck (in very likely more than one lottery).  No, these trades will only clear out the bad vibes of the post-LeBron era, while hopefully leaving the roster flexible for future building.  There is no building happening this year; instead, the goal for the remainder of the season should be exorcising every last vestige of this horrible, horrible team.  (Please note: I don't really understand how the trade exception works, so it is entirely possible all three of these trades cannot happen congruently.  Please forgive me if this is the case.)