The NBA God Contract

"He's the best player in baseball, and the best players in each sport should be rewarded. It'd be nice to sign a 10-year deal worth $300 million." -LeBron James, reacting to Miguel Cabrera's 10-year, $292 million extension with the Detroit Tigers

I never used to think pro athletes deserved big contracts.  I always felt that after a certain threshold, the benefit derived from each additional dollar or two or million had to be so marginal that to gripe about having earnings capped at multiple millions of dollars bordered on offensive.  I was one of those people--and "those people," probably make up 90% of the population, so I guess I should just say I was a "person"--who recoiled in disgust at deals like A-Rod's (twice!) and Ryan Howard's.  How could anyone be worth such obscene amounts of money?  How could somebody even ask for such sums?

Brian Windhorst > Adrian Wojnarowski

If you haven't read Adrian Wojnarowski's piece on LeBron's departure from Cleveland, I recommend that you do so.  Most of the information in it is stuff you probably already know if you've been paying attention, and it isn't especially well-written (it almost seems as if each paragraph was copied and pasted directly from the author's notebook with little regard for how each little tidbit fits into the larger frame of the article), but it perfectly illustrates two things:  Wojnarowski hates LeBron, and Cleveland should be eternally grateful for Brian Windhorst.

Goodbye LeBron?

Apparently, LeBron James is going to use his one hour prime-time special tonight to announce he is joining Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami (which I kind of doubt, but I will get to that at the end of this little excercise).  While this is extremely disappointing for Cavs fans, I am too tired right now to properly gauge the emotional weight of this decision.  Instead, I am just going to do a grab bag list of random topics related to this stunning news.

What is wrong with LeBron James?

We are all Witnesses, except this postseason, instead of transcendent play by our MVP, we are witnessing the lowest point of LeBron James's professional career (which, for all intents and purposes, began when he was sophomore in high school).  You all know what has happened in the past week or so, but why has it happened?  Here are a few theories:

1. His arm is barely hanging on.  If the name "Tommy John" is uttered in connection with LeBron this off-season, then we can all admire how amazing it was he was playing at all.

2. He was due for a rough stretch.  According to LeBron following last night's game, "(He) spoil(s) a lot of people with my play. When you have 3 bad games in a 7-year career, it is easy to point that out."  The odds alone say he was due for at least one stinker after having only THREE in SEVEN YEARS!!!  It's just unfortunate that it came during the biggest game of the season.  While we're quoting LeBron's post-game comments, can we all agree that his demeanor is bizarre, if not offensive?  Why is he so nonchalant, why isn't he pissed (did you hear Kevin Garnett?  He is already fired up for Game 6, calling it the Celtics' Game 7, and still calling the Cavs the best team in the NBA when they clearly aren't.  That's called RESPECT FOR YOUR OPPONENT, LEBRON!!!), and why is he such an ass about "spoiling people?"  Maybe...

3. He's on mescaline.  "Did you say mescaline?"  "Indeed I did."   

4. He's trying to get Mike Brown fired.  I've always liked Mike Brown, and have always thought he gets a bad rap, but if LeBron wants him gone, that means he wants to stay--albeit with a new coach--and if the choice is Mike Brown or six more years of LeBron, then don't let the door hit you in the ass, Mikey.  In all seriousness, this theory actually might have something to it, considering John Calipari and the agent he shares with LeBron were sitting courtside just days after rumors circulated that Calipari is LeBron's dream coach.  I hope it's this one, because the alternative is...

5. He can't wait to get out of Cleveland.  This is the most likely scenario, and the most fitting for a sports town that is getting almost too depressing to care about anymore.  

All this said, though, I still think the Cavs win in 7*.






*And then get swept by the Magic.  
   

Well, at least this is finally exorcised. *

*Or not.  Fuck that guy.  And poor Craig Ehlo.  I'm still convinced Jordan kicked him in the face when they show MJ's celebration from the angle they always show it from.

Finally, the Cavs beat the Bulls in the playoffs.  That's one monkey off their backs; up next, the Boston Celtics, who the Cavs have actually beaten in the playoffs (essentially ending Larry Bird's career with a 122-104 blowout of the C's in Game 7 of the 1992 Eastern Conference semis).  Before we get to that scintillating showdown, however, I just wanted to reflect on some miscellaneous thoughts about the series that just was:

NEWS FLASH!!! When LeBron James drives, good things happen

I know what you're saying.  "No shit."  I'm sure anyone watching a Cavs game has at one point felt exasperation when LeBron holds the ball for ten seconds and then shoots a fade-away three.  We all know he can't be stopped when he decides to go to the basket, and even if he is, good things still come out of it.