2007 Sun Belt Preview

There is both a major advantage and a major disadvantage to writing about the Sun Belt Conference; the major advantage being that you don’t know shit about the conference, and the major disadvantage being that neither do I. With that said, let’s see what we can bullshit each other into believing makes sense.

Order of Finish

1. Troy Trojans 9-3 (7-0)
2. Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders 8-4 (6-1)
3. Arkansas State Indians 7-5 (5-2)
4. Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns 5-7 (4-3)
5. North Texas Mean Green 3-9 (2-5)
6. Florida Atlantic Owls 2-11 (2-5)
7. Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks 2-10 (1-6)
8. Florida International Golden Panthers 1-11 (1-6)

Just to give you an idea of how little I know what I’m talking about, I picked Troy based on two things: they’re usually tough in NCAA Football for the PS2, and Demarcus Ware was a first round pick out of there. Oh, and they are widely considered the best team out of this pile of junk. Middle Tennessee State comes in a close second (I have them being undefeated in the conference coming into the season finale at Troy that will have no one watching) based solely on the fact that former Cleveland Brown playoff stud Kelly Holcomb went there.

Bowl Bound Teams

The Sun Belt champion gets an automatic bid in the New Orleans Bowl, so book Troy a horse (Trojan, perhaps?) to the Superdome. Middle Tennessee can probably get an at-large bid, while Arkansas State may get screwed (and I use the term loosely considering that the Sun Belt should thank the stars it gets one bowl bid).

Players To Watch

1. Omar Haugabook, QB, Troy, SR
2. Calvin Dawson, RB, La. Monroe, SR
3. Tyrell Johnson, S, Arkansas State, SR
4. Damon Nickson, S, Middle Tennessee, SR
5. Tyrell Fenroy, RB, La. Lafayette, JR

Haughabook is the pre-season Player of the Year, and is coming off an above-average 21-17 TD-INT ratio, so watch out for him. Dawson ran for 1210 yards and 11 TD last season, while fellow Louisiana student athlete Fenroy was right there with him, posting 1197 yards and 10 TD. Johnson is the pre-season Defensive Player of the Year, while Nickson is also a safety (and has a nifty spelling to his last name).

(Media All-Conference Picks here.)

Best Chance For An Upset

Troy over Oklahoma State, September 14. And that’s about it for upset talk. I guess Troy could play tough at an Arkansas team dealing with a lot of upheaval, but you have to figure that Darren McFadden and the opening day Razorback crowd will be too much. So the Cowboys are the conference’s only hope of beating one of the big boys.

World Beaters (Toughest Schedule)

Troy. As mentioned above, the Trojans open at Arkansas, then go to Florida and host Oklahoma State before beginning conference play. As if that gauntlet wasn’t enough, a November 3 trip to Georgia interrupts the Trojans conference schedule and breaks what could have been a season-ending eight game winning streak. Troy’s non-conference schedule also include D I-AA team Western Kentucky, but so does half the rest of the league (the Hilltoppers will be joining the conference in 2009). (By the way, Florida should be ashamed. They host not only Troy but Florida Atlantic as well. Way to defend your crown, you pussy, faggot-ass, crocodile-wannabes.)

Sucka Ducks (Weakest Schedule)

Louisiana-Lafayette. The Rajin’ Cajuns non-conference schedule opens at South Carolina, hosts Ohio, and travels to UCF. Not exactly the gauntlet Troy faces, while also excluding Western Kentucky. I mean, if you’re going to schedule a patsy lineup, you should at least include the patsy that will be joining your league someday. (By the way, the Cajuns will not even come close to beating any of these so-called “patsies.”)

Best Mascot

Louisiana-Lafayette Rajin’ Cajuns. C’mon. That one was easy. (Troy should get points taken away for their painfully obvious selection of Trojans.)

How Bad Is The Sun Belt?

Pretty bad. Over the past five years, not one program has a cumulative record above .500. Only one team has repeated as conference champ (North Texas, 2001-04, when they were running wild with Patrick Cobbs & Jamario Thomas), no team has posted double-digit wins, and La.-Monroe shared the conference title in 2005 with a 5-6 record. Only Troy in 2004 has defeated a ranked opponent (vs. Missouri, 24-14), and only North Texas has won a bowl game (vs. Cincinnati, 24-19, 2002 New Orleans Bowl). [Edit: Troy beat Rice 41-17 in last year's New Orleans Bowl. Thanks Timothy the commenter.] The conference is young, however, and hopefully the schools are putting the money they earn by playing all of these road games against BCS schools to good use (by which I mean back into the football program, not into academics hahahaha).

2007 College Football Preview

The following is the schedule for my 2007 College Football preview. I'm going to break it down by conference, going from what I consider least to what I consider best.

• Tuesday, 8/7 Sun Belt
• Thursday, 8/9 MAC
• Monday 8/13 Conference USA
• Wednesday 8/15 Mountain West
  
• Friday 8/17 WAC
• Monday 8/20 Big East
• Wednesday 8/22 ACC
• Friday 8/24 PAC 10
• Monday 8/27 Big 12
• Wednesday 8/29 Big Ten
• Friday 8/31 SEC & National Wrap-up

I'll do my best to stick to this schedule, and I'm also going to try to work an NFL preview somewhere in between all of that. So starting tomorrow with the Sun Belt conference, get ready for a month of pigskin preparation.

REDEMPTION! The Return of the 1st Round QB Busts

Tim Couch was picked up by the Jacksonville Jaguars this week, and I like it, as most people in Cleveland do (I have no idea what people in Jacksonville think, although I'm sure Byron Leftwitch and David Garrard are happy that Couch--who hasn't played in 4 years--was brought in instead of Dante Culpepper). With Couch back in the league, there are now three "bust" quarterbacks in position to make good of careers gone bad. Today I'll look at these three stalwarts, and then tell you why they are going to take the league by storm.

Tim Couch, Jacksonville Jaguars: 62 G, 11,131 yards, 64 TD, 67 INT, 59.8% Comp. Pct., 75.1 QB Rating (which is shockingly higher than Brian Sipes)

Tim Couch was doomed to be a bust essentially from Day 1. It started when he was drafted by the 1999 Cleveland Browns, an expansion team that had no line, no running game, and one receiver (Kevin Johnson). Add in the fact that Couch was playing in Chris Palmer's offense--an offense that stresses the vertical pass--after coming from the dink-and-dunk system at Kentucky and you can see why he was behind the 8-ball. After getting beaten to hell his first two years in the league (the second of which was cut short by a broken wrist), Couch finally got some average protection in his third year, and showed a knack for coming from behind. Unfortunately, injuries began to take their toll, opening the door for Kelly Holcomb's gunslinging ways and the quarterback controversy that eventually ushered Couch out of the league. Injuries incurred during off-season workouts and surgeries for lingering arm problems have prevented Couch from coming back, until now. Competing with a starter the coaches don't like in Byron Leftwitch and a backup who hasn't taken advantage of his opportunities in David Garrard, Couch has an opportunity to step into a starting role if he can prove to the Jacksonville brass that three years off and four years of abuse haven't taken too much of a toll. Couch actually has the least chance to succeed of the three mentioned here, because A.) he's third on the depth chart, B.) he hasn't played for three years, and C.) his receivers lack polish on short and intermediate routes, which is exactly what Couch is best at throwing.

David Carr, Carolina Panthers: 76 G, 13, 391 yards, 59 TD, 65 INT, 60.0 Comp. Pct., 75.5 QB Rating

David Carr's career could be considered Tim Couch version 2.0. Drafted by an expansion team, Carr had little to work with and the worst protection in NFL history. After adding Andre Johnson (100 times the weapon Kevin Johnson was for Couch), Carr hit a bit of a stride, that is whenever he could stay upright. Carr's career peaked in 2004, when the team finished 7-9 and Carr showed some spunk in leading the Texans to some tight victories. Things regressed the next two seasons, however, and Carr now finds himself with a new team. Like Couch, Carr is behind a starter who may be on thin ice in Jake Delhomme. I like Carr's chances of success better than Couch's, though, because Carr is the most talented of the three busts, as well as playing with the most talented team.

Joey Harrington, Atlanta Falcons: 70 G, 12,478 yards, 72 TD, 77 INT, 55.2 Comp. Pct., 68.1 QB Rating

Joey Harrington was drafted number 3 overall in the same draft David Carr went number 1, going to the Detroit Lions. Terrible personnel combined with Harrington's subpar play led to his eventual release and subsequent signing with the Miami Dolphins. After taking over for the disastrous Dante Culpepper, Harrington was barely adequate and let go this off-season and picked up by Atlanta to back up Mike Vick. We all know what happened to Vick, so now Harrington's the man, and I must say that I like his chances for success the best out of these three. With Joe Horn added to a young receiver corps., as well as the continued presence of Alge Crumpler, Harrington arguably has the best weapons to work with, especially when you consider Warrick Dunn and Jerious Norwood running behind him. Add in the fact that Bobby Petrino, a quaterback and offensive guru, is his coach and it's easy to see why Harrington should have a break-out year.

New Blog News

I've decided to re-format again. Now, Diminishing Skills will be exclusively for sports. For movies, music, TV, and whatever else, head over to Not Even God Knows What You're Doing, and remember to bookmark it, fool!

The Cleveland Indians: Stocking The Rosters of MLB Teams For (at least) 12 Years

(Note: This is an unfinished project of mine that I started back in April and just lost track of. I'm never going to finish it, but, since I did put a lot of work into it, I decided to just post what I had done. Also, Jeremy Guthrie has turned out a lot better for the Orioles than I expected (3rd in the AL in ERA). Oh, and most--if not all--of my stats came from baseballreference.com)

I have often said that the Cleveland Indians have produced more players playing somewhere in the majors than any other team, and I’ve never really counted to see if I am right (nor am I going to anytime soon). While I don’t know if I am right or not, I do know a lot of players, and more importantly, a lot of good players, have come through Cleveland. What follows is a comprehensive list of all active players who have spent some time with the Indians on the major league roster. I’ve decided to break it down by team to see who the biggest pilferer of Indians players is and to split up this gargantuan list.

BALTIMORE ORIOLES

Baltimore has an affinity for picking up former Indians golden boy pitchers, and they have the last three waves covered. Jaret Wright was the first, riding a wave of hope created by his unexpected 1997 playoff success for five years of pitching ranging from mediocre to atrocious. Danys Baez was next, a mysterious Cuban defector signed in hopes of being the next Livan or Orlando Hernandez, and then hoped to be the next Jose Mesa (pre-rape allegations), and finally discarded. Jeremy Guthrie is the latest, drafted amid hype (at least in terms of the baseball draft), starting fast at AA ball, and then failing to excel at any level beyond that. Good luck, Leo Mazzone.

• Danys Baez, RHP

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 2001-03 (amateur free agent)

CAREER STATS: 502 IP, 31-37, 111 SV, 394 K, 3.78 ERA

AWARDS: 1 All-Star Game (2005)

CAREER YEAR: 2005, Tampa Bay, 72.1 IP, 5-4, 41 SV, 51K, 2.86 ERA

LOST: via FA to Tampa Bay

Baez was signed out of Cuba in a rare instance when the Indians outbid the Yankees. Danys was originally a starter, then shifted to relief, then shifted back to starting (10-11, 4.41 ERA for a bad 2002 team), before being shifted back to relief in 2003, this time as the closer. Baez had 25 saves for a 94-loss Indians team that year, but also blew 10 saves. This shaky performance persuaded the Indians to let Baez walk following the season, when Baez signed with Tampa Bay, where he saved 71 games in his two seasons. All in all, I don’t remember the Danys Baez era being a good one.

• Jeremy Guthrie, RHP

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 2004-06 (via draft 1^st RD 22^nd pick)

CAREER STATS: 50 IP, 1-1, 34 K, 5.22 ERA

CAREER YEAR: Guthrie is young, and in his brief cameos in the majors, he has been pretty terrible. He is off to a decent start with the Orioles, however, posting 13 IP, 1-1, 10K, 2.77 ERA

LOST: Waived (Claimed by Baltimore)

Guthrie didn’t spend much time in Cleveland, making only 16 appearances over 3 seasons, one of them a start, and none of them good, posting a 5.87 career ERA with the Tribe. I didn’t even know he wasn’t with the team anymore to be honest. When Guthrie was drafted 22^nd overall in 2002, he was somewhat of a risk because of his perceived unsignability (some had him in the top 5, but he dropped because of his high asking price, and he did in fact turn out to be a tough sign, failing to come to terms until October, 2002). I remember Guthrie dominating at AA Akron (62.2 IP, 6-2, 1.44 ERA, 35 K, 14 BB, 2 Shutouts) in his debut season, but then getting shelled at AAA Buffalo (96.2 IP, 4-9, 6.52 ERA, 62 K, 30 BB) after getting promoted. The reasons for Guthrie’s AAA struggles were cited as an inability to adjust to the better hitters he was seeing, and he apparently never gained the ability, posting a 7.91 ERA at Buffalo the next season. The fact that Guthrie was waived with absolutely no fanfare shows how far his star has fallen.

• Jaret Wright, RHP

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 1997-2002 (via draft 1^st RD 10^th pick)

CAREER STATS: 969.2 IP, 68-59, 2 SV, 693 K, 5.08 ERA

AWARDS: 5^th place 1997 AL Rookie of the Year

CAREER YEAR: 2004, Atlanta, 186.1 IP, 15-8, 159 K, 3.28 ERA

LOST: via FA to San Diego

This one hurts, not because of what he is now, nor because of what he was with the Tribe (save for one magical October), but because of what he could have been. In the 1997 playoffs, the relatively unknown 21 year-old Wright helped get the Indians within one out of a championship, posting a 3-0 record, including two wins over the Yankees and a win in the World Series (which should have been two World Series wins if Jose Mesa could have closed Game 7 vs. Florida). Following that October, no one was as revered in Cleveland as Jaret Wright. Rumor has it that the Indians could have had Pedro Martinez for a package including Wright or Randy Johnson straight up for him and passed, and no one in Cleveland could really blame them. Ouch. Wright imploded almost immediately the next season, beginning with a spring training beaning of Derek Jeter that led to Wright being labeled a headhunter, which invariably led to Wright fearing the inside part of the plate. The result was a constant shelling of Wright’s pitching on the rare occasions he wasn't injured. After beginning a meltdown in Game 3 of the 1999 ALDS versus the Red Sox that would cost the Indians a series and Mike Hargrove his job, Wright pretty much cemented his exit from the Tribe and killed the hope of Indians fans everywhere. Wright has gone on to show glimpses of his 1997 self, but injuries keep getting in his way. Here’s hoping he never regains his form, if only because the Indians could have had Pedro freaking Martinez for him and passed. Ugh.

BOSTON RED SOX

• Julian Tavarez, RHP

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 1993-96 (amateur free agent)

CAREER STATS: 1194 IP, 77-61, 22 SV, 691 K, 4.39 ERA

AWARDS: 6^th place 1995 AL Rookie of the Year

CAREER YEAR: 1995, Cleveland, 85 IP, 10-2, 68 K, 2.44 ERA

LOST: Traded with Joe Roa, Jeff Kent, and Jose Vizcaino to the San Francisco for Matt Williams and Trenidad Hubbard.

I don’t remember Tavarez’s 1995 season being so good, but I do remember the 1996 Sports Illustrated MLB Preview Yearbook (which sadly only lasted 2 years, I think) ranked him as the best reliever in baseball, so I guess Julian’s 1995 was that good. The biggest thing I remember about Tavarez, however, is his face looking like a golf ball. What the hell happened to that guy? Also, how about that trade? While Tavarez pitched for the Giants for three seasons (two of them good), the real story is Jeff Kent, who of course became Jeff Kent while with the Giants. Matt Williams had the most frustrating 30 HR season ever (.263 AVG, 32 HR, 105 RBI, 12 SB (!), an amazingly putrid .307 OBP, and anger, anger, ANGER over some sort of custody battle with his ex-wife) for the Indians in 1997, and was eventually traded for Travis Fryman following the season. What would you be happier with: six years of unremarkable third base play (offensively, as Williams was above average and Fryman was excellent in the field) from Matt Williams/Travis Fryman (six year averages of .267 AVG, 17 HR, 74 RBI, .327 OBP, .433 SLG, .761 OPS) or six years of Hall of Fame second base play from Jeff Kent (six year averages of .297 AVG, 29 HR, 114 RBI, .367 OBP, .534 SLG, .901 OPS)?

• Alex Cora, SS

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 2005 (free agent signing, LA Dodgers)

CAREER STATS: .245 AVG, 32 HR, 219 RBI, 263 R, .311 OBP, .347 SLG, .658 OPS

CAREER YEAR: 2002, LA Dodgers, .291 AVG, 5 HR, 28 RBI, 37 R, .371 OBP, .434 SLG, .805 OPS

LOST: Traded to Boston for Ramon Vazquez

Cora was signed to be a defensive replacement for Johnny Peralta at shortstop, and filled the role adequately for half of 2005 before being traded to Boston for Vazquez, a younger, lighter hitting, worse fielding version of Cora. I don’t have much more about him except that he is Joey Cora’s brother (who also briefly played for Cleveland after John Hart stupidly traded David Bell to Seattle) and that prior to the 2005 season Sports Illustrated called him the best number 8 hitter in baseball (and the only reason he hit 8 is because he played for the Dodgers in 2004).

• Coco Crisp, OF

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 2002-05 (player to be named later in Chuck Finley-Luis Garcia trade, St. Louis)

CAREER STATS: .281 AVG, 43 HR, 218 RBI, 299 R, 78 SB, .327 OBP, .413 SLG, .740 OPS

CAREER YEAR: 2005, Cleveland, .300 AVG, 16 HR, 69 RBI, 86 R, 15 SB, .345 OBP, .465 SLG, .810 OPS, 1 RAP ALBUM

LOST: Traded with Josh Bard and David Riske to Boston for Andy Marte, Kelly Shoppach, Guillermo Mota, and cash

Coco was a somewhat exciting player with a more exciting name (which led to the best sign I’ve ever seen at Jacobs Field: “My Grandma is CooCoo for Coco Crisp!”). He has speed, but lacks the instincts necessary to consistently steal bases. He doesn’t get on base enough to lead off, but lacks the power to be a middle of the lineup presence. He is a borderline superb corner outfielder, but is overmatched in center. I am still shocked that the Red Sox thought Crisp was the answer after Johnny Damon bolted for New York. It looks like the best part of that deal is the cash (although Andy Marte is still young and Kelly Shoppach looks like he’s going to be a solid starting catcher for some team real soon).

• Manny Ramirez, OF

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 1993-2000 (via draft 1^st RD 13^th pick)

CAREER STATS: .313 AVG, 472 HR, 1527 RBI, 1267 R, .410 OBP, .597 SLG, 1.007 OPS

AWARDS: 2^nd place finish 1994 AL Rookie of the Year; 8 Top 10 MVP Finishes (1998-2005); 9 Silver Sluggers (1995, 1999-2006); 10 All-Star Games (1995, 1998-2006); 2004 World Series MVP

CAREER YEAR: 1999, Cleveland, .333 AVG, 44 HR, 165 RBI, 131 R, .442 OBP, .663 SLG, 1.105 OPS

LOST: via FA to Boston

Manny is the one that got away. I disagreed with overspending to re-sign Jim Thome, because while Thome is a tremendous slugger and has a personality tailor-made for Cleveland, Manny is one of a kind and one of the two or three best right-handed hitters ever. While everyone agrees that Ramirez is an elite hitter, rarely is he ever described as one of THE elite hitters of all-time. A lot of it has to do with his personality, which is a shame. If anyone needed to stay in Cleveland--and, more importantly, out of Boston—it was Manny. Here, Manny Ramirez antics are legendary and loved. My friends and I still laugh at the crazy stuff he pulled (climbing the wall at Jacobs Field only to see the ball land a good 25 feet in front of it; the Chad Ogea story; etc.) and marvel at his greatness (grand slams that everyone knew was coming; that 1999 season). Boston fans and the media tolerate Manny’s quirks as long as he produces, and acknowledge that he is a great player who they demand be better (the only time this wasn't the case was after Ramirez won the World Series MVP). Cleveland fans embraced Manny’s quirks regardless of production and marveled at the steady pace this Dominican savant pounded the baseball day after day, month after month, season after season. I guess I just miss my friend.

TORONTO BLUE JAYS

The Blue Jays have a couple of castoffs from the 2002-2004 rebuilding years of the Tribe, and have actually made useful players out of them.

• Brian Tallet, RHP

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 2002-03, 2005 (via draft 2^nd RD)

CAREER STATS: 92.1 IP, 4-3, 55 K, 3.90 ERA

CAREER YEAR: 2006, Toronto, 54.1 IP, 3-0, 37 K, 3.81 ERA

LOST: Traded to Blue Jays for Eddie Buzachero

Tallet was part of the wave of players tried out from 2002-03 as the Indians tried to find a new core following the end of their AL Central dominance. Tallet showed flashes (2 starts, 1.50 ERA 2002), but couldn’t stay healthy (if I recall correctly). I have no idea who Eddie Buzachero is, so I’m sure that Toronto got the best of that trade.

• John McDonald, SS

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 1999-2004 (via draft 12^th RD)

CAREER STATS: .244 AVG, 7 HR, 75 RBI, 134 R, .285 OBP, .321 SLG, .606 OPS

CAREER YEAR: 2006, Toronto, .223 AVG, 3 HR, 23 RBI, 35 R, 7 SB, .271 OBP, .308 SLG, .579 OPS (McDonald played the most games this season, so I’m assuming his glove was in the field the most this season; therefore, this is his career year.)

LOST: Traded to Toronto for Tom Mastny

John McDonald was supposed to be the heir apparent to Omar Vizquel, and Johnny Mac certainly had the leatherwork to back up that assumption. I remember when at AA Akron McDonald was widely considered the best defensive player in the minors. Unfortunately, the hits never came for McDonald, and he just couldn’t justify an everyday spot in the lineup. As the Indians built a powerhouse lineup, McDonald was squeezed out, eventually turning into Mastny, who has proven to be an effective reliever in a little over half a season for Cleveland. As for McDonald, I hear he is in a platoon at 3B with Jason Smith while Troy Glaus is on the DL.

CHICAGO WHITE SOX

Chicago has only one former Indian, but it just happens to be the all-time Cleveland home run leader (334 HR). Oddly enough, the White Sox also once employed the Tribe’s number two home run slugger, Albert Belle (242).

• Jim Thome, DH

YEARS WITH INDIANS: 1991-2002 (via draft, 13^th RD)

CAREER STATS: .282 AVG, 477 HR, 1312 RBI, 1271 R, .410 OBP, .566 SLG, .976 OPS

AWARDS: 4 Top 10 MVP Finishes (1997, 2001-03), 1 Silver Slugger (1996), 5 All-Star Games (1997-99, 2004, 2006)

CAREER YEAR: 2002, Cleveland, .304 AVG, 52 HR, 118 RBI, 101 R, .445 OBP, .677 SLG, 1.122 OPS

LOST: via FA to Philadelphia

To many Cleveland fans, Jim Thome’s defection to Philadelphia in the winter of 2002 represents the end of the glory days of the 1990s and caused most of the casual fans to abandon the team for a few years (many, in fact, have yet to return). Losing Thome hurt many fans on a strangely personal level, due mostly to his low-key, ah-shucks, Midwestern personality, which lent to the belief that he would take a lesser deal to stay in a town so suited to him. The man was a staple of the community. In fact, he frequented two establishments I myself worked at (a golf course he lived on and a trout resort). For me, while Thome’s departure hurt, Ramirez’s stung more. Thome was wise to leave a club that was about to enter a major rebuilding period, while the Indians were wise to not match Philadelphia’s offer (although the Indians did offer Thome a statue at Jacobs Field, which would have been hard for me to pass up). The huge chunk of payroll Thome would have eaten up would have prevented Tribe GM Mark Shapiro from locking up his young nucleus (Victor Martinez, Grady Sizemore, Travis Hafner, Jake Westbrook, C.C. Sabathia), not to mention blocking the development of Hafner. Ramirez left when the Indians were still contenders, when Ramirez was younger, and, as cited earlier, when Ramirez was in the prime of a once-in-a-generation career. Thome’s Indians career will always be remembered fondly in Cleveland; his departure, however, will never be completely forgiven in the hearts of most Tribe fans.

Welcome To The Dawg Pound, Mighty Quinn

The Browns’ 2007 Draft is the draft I never thought would happen in Cleveland. The whole thing reeked of logic, intelligence, foresight, and, quite frankly, balls (big, beautiful balls), qualities that have been lacking in every facet of the “new” Browns up until now. Phil Savage could have played it safe, keeping his picks and being content with Joe Thomas, Eric Wright, and a running back (probably Antonio Pittman). But he put his neck on the line, moving up using next year’s number one to steal who I feel will be the best quarterback of this draft, Brady Quinn. The trade signaled a few things: 1.) The Browns really did like Quinn, just not as much as Thomas. 2.) Savage must not have liked any QBs in next year’s class, and I agree. Early projections have Brian Brohm of Louisville and Chad Henne of Michigan as the top 2 QBs on the board, and Quinn is better than either of them (besides, if you think Brady Quinn was unpopular in Cleveland leading up to the draft, imagine the venom if Henne was projected to go to the Browns). 3.) Savage believes the Browns must either take a big step this season or face tremendous heat for trading what could turn out to be a high draft pick. This is what I really like. Rarely do you see a GM or coach stick his neck out in such a way. So without any more fuss, here’s a pick-by-pick run down of what could be the draft Browns fans are telling their kids about.

1. (3) Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin

Thomas is the safest pick in the draft besides Calvin Johnson, and, although I had doubts about using the number 3 pick on a lineman, I was on board as soon as his name was called. There’s just something comforting about knowing that this beast is lining up for the Browns. The selection of Thomas also made every player on offense better, especially the demon seed quarterback hybrid known as Charlie Frye/Derek Anderson.

2. (22) Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame

I wanted him at 3, but getting him at 22 is better, for more than just the obvious monetary reasons:

· Quinn will be motivated by the snub. While I never really doubted his drive to be great (you don’t appear on every single sports outlet in the United States talking about your desire for success without backing it up), there are now tangible teams that he can push himself to prove wrong.

· The drop will also help tone down Quinn’s confidence. Granted, you want your franchise QB to be confident, but Quinn comes off as borderline cocky, which may be what turned him off to a lot of fans. The humiliation of sitting for hours waiting for his name to be called may erase that edge from his personality.

· There won’t be as much pressure on him, nor will he need to be thrown to the wolves due to a high cap number. With the more modest 22^nd pick salary, the Browns won’t feel like Quinn is dead cap weight while he sits on the bench and learns for a while, possibly even an entire season.

The trade to get Quinn doesn’t really appear as if it will hurt long-term, either. After the three trades Dallas and Cleveland made during the draft, this is what was actually exchanged:

CLEVELAND: 22^nd pick (Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame), 53^rd pick (Eric Wright, CB, UNLV), 200^th pick (Melila Purcell, DE, Hawaii), 234^th pick (Syndric Steptoe, RS, Arizona)

DALLAS: 2008 First Round Pick, 67^th pick (James Marten, OT, Boston College), 103^rd pick (Isaiah Stanbeck, QB, Washington), 178^th pick (Nick Folk, PK, Arizona), 36^th pick (traded in package to Philadelphia for 26^th pick (Anthony Spencer, DE, Purdue))

So for this upcoming season, the Browns netted a franchise quarterback, a possible shutdown cornerback, a situational pass-rusher project, and a return specialist (presumably to handle punts, since Josh Cribbs struggles in that department) while giving up a developmental offensive lineman without a position, a quarterback who by all indications will be a wide receiver, a kicker, and parts of a package for a DE/OLB hybrid. I’ll take that any day. As for next year’s number one, I hope that it won’t be that high. Even if it is, though, I don’t really see it affecting the Browns all that much. Let’s say, for example, that the Browns are at number 3 again, and that the top 3 prospects are Brian Brohm, Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas, and Jake Long, OT, Michigan. The Browns don’t need Long or Brohm, having already acquired Thomas and Quinn this year, and while McFadden would be kick ass to have, 2008 looks like it’s going to be one of the deepest running back classes ever (McFadden; Steve Slaton, West Virginia; Felix Jones, Arkansas; Mike Hart, Michigan; Allen Patrick, Oklahoma; Ray Rice, Rutgers; Jonathan Stewart, Oregon; etc.). One of these guys has to be there in the second round, so the Browns will still get their future workhorse. Bottom line, I’d make that deal seven days out of the week.

(One more reason to like this pick: it may just push Charlie Frye into becoming a productive quarterback, ala Drew Brees after San Diego drafted Phillip Rivers. Bringing Quinn in sends a clear message to Frye (and to Derek Anderson, for that matter) that he is not the future. If Frye were smart, he’d start working his ass off so that when the reins are finally handed over to Quinn, Charlie will be a commodity that other teams would like as their starting quarterback. Otherwise, a career of holding clipboards appears to be Frye’s future.)

3. (53) Eric Wright, CB, UNLV

I am shaky on this pick. On the one hand, Wright is said to be the most talented corner in the draft, and projects to be a shutdown-type player if he fulfills his potential. On the other hand, he was involved in a rape case, which is always a little hard to swallow. I like it more than I don’t like it, I guess because Savage seems to know what he’s doing as far as character judgment goes. I’d almost rather have kept the third- and fourth-rounders we gave up, especially since Antonio Pittman would have been available. This is the biggest risk Savage took.

4. (140) Brandon McDonald, CB, Memphis

A converted receiver who has average speed and below-average size, McDonald projects as a dime back, which is about the only position left to fill in the Browns secondary following Wright’s selection. Assuming Gary Baxter continues to progress in his comeback from dual-torn patellas, the Browns should field a fearsome secondary:

CB Leigh Bodden

CB Eric Wright

FS Sean Jones

SS Brodney Pool

NB Gary Baxter

DB Devin Holley/Brandon McDonald

Besides, the Browns proved last year that you can never have enough depth in the secondary.

5. (200) Melila Purcell, DE, Hawaii

A solid athlete who apparently has been known to give up on plays; hopefully being a 6^th round pick will instill a little effort into him, because the Browns need someone to step up at end.

6. (213) Chase Pittman, DE, LSU

Looks like Pittman is a run-stuffer. I for some reason think he’ll be solid because he played end for LSU. Hopefully I’m right.

7. (234) Syndric Steptoe, RS, Arizona

Brought in strictly to handle punts as far as I can tell, as he doesn’t seem to have what it takes to be a receiver in the NFL.

All in all, I love what the Browns did. The only thing that keeps this from being a perfect draft is the team’s failure to get another running back to complement Jamal Lewis. Pittman would have been ideal, but I suppose a possible shutdown corner is harder to find than a complementary halfback.

2007 Mock Draft

This is for my boy Matt, and if you should happen to see it, so be it.

Round 1

1 Oakland Jamarcus Russell, QB, LSU
2 Atlanta Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech (Traded by Detroit to Atlanta for 8th, 39th, & 44th pick)
3 Cleveland Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
4 Tampa Bay Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
5 Arizona Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
6 Washington Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville
7 Buffalo Adrian Peterson, HB, Oklahoma (Traded by Minnesota to Buffalo for 12th, 43rd, & 92nd pick)
8 Detroit Laron Landry, S, LSU (Traded by Atlanta to Detroit for 2nd pick)
9 Miami Levi Brown, OT, Penn State
10 Houston Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
11 San Francisco Adam Carriker, DE/OLB, Nebraska
12 Minnesota Ted Ginn, Jr., WR, Ohio State (Traded by Buffalo to Minnesota for 7th pick)
13 St. Louis Jamaal Anderson, DE, Arkansas
14 Carolina Patrick Willis, ILB, Ole Miss
15 Pittsburgh Darrelle Revis, CB, Pittsburgh
16 Green Bay Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
17 Jacksonville Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
18 Cincinnati Greg Olson, TE, Miami (Fl.)
19 Tennessee Dwayne Jarrett, WR, USC
20 NY Giants Paul Posluszny, OLB, Penn State
21 Denver Joe Staley, OT, Central Michigan
22 Dallas Dwayne Bowe, WR, LSU
23 Kansas City Robert Meachem, WR, Tennessee
24 New England Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
25 NY Jets Lawrence Timmons, OLB, Florida State
26 Philadelphia Reggie Nelson, S, Florida
27 New Orleans Marcus McCauley, CB, Fresno State
28 New England Jarvis Moss, DE/OLB, Florida
29 Baltimore Anthony Spencer, DE/OLB, Purdue
30 San Diego Michael Griffin, S, Texas
31 Chicago Jon Beason, OLB, Miami (Fl.)
32 Indianapolis Justin Blalock, G, Texas

Round 2

33 Oakland Sidney Rice, WR, South Carolina
34 Detroit Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
35 Tampa Bay Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Ohio State
36 Cleveland Tony Ugoh, OT, Arkansas
37 Chicago Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee
38 Arizona Victor Abiamiri, DE/OLB, Notre Dame
39 Detroit Ryan Kalil, C, USC (Traded by Atlanta to Detroit for 2nd pick)
40 Miami Brandon Merriweather, S, Miami (Fl.)
41 Minnesota Zach Miller, TE, ASU
42 San Francisco Craig Davis, WR, LSU
43 Minnesota Charles Johnson, DE, Georgia (Traded by Buffalo to Minnesota for 7th pick)
44 Detroit Brandon Siler, ILB, Florida Traded by Atlanta to Detroit for 2nd pick
45 Carolina Doug Free, OT, Northern Illinois
46 Pittsburgh Lamar Woodley, OLB/DE, Michigan
47 Green Bay Steve Smith, WR, USC
48 Jacksonville Ray McDonald, DE, Florida
49 Cincinnati Jonathan Wade, CB, Tennessee
50 Tennessee Eric Wright, CB, UNLV
51 NY Giants Ben Grubbs, G, Auburn
52 St. Louis Tank Tyler, DT, NC State
53 Dallas Tim Crowder, DE, Texas
54 Kansas City Arron Sears, G, Tennessee
55 Seattle Ikaika Alama-Francis, DE, Hawaii
56 Denver Jason Hill, WR, Washington State
57 Philadelphia Brian Leonard, RB, Rutgers
58 New Orleans David Harris, ILB, Michigan
59 NY Jets James Marten, OT, Boston College
60 Miami Drew Stanton, QB, Michigan State
61 Baltimore Josh Wilson, CB, Marlyand
62 San Diego Johnnie Lee-Higgins, WR, UTEP
63 NY Jets David Irons, CB, Auburn
64 Tampa Bay Turk McBride, DT, Tennessee

Round 3

65 Oakland Marshall Yanda, OT, Iowa
66 Detroit Trent Edwards, QB, Stanford
67 Cleveland Antonio Pittman, RB, Ohio State
68 Tampa Bay Tony Hunt, RB, Penn State
69 Arizona Rufus Alexander, OLB, Oklahoma
70 Denver Aaron Rouse, S, Virginia Tech
71 Miami Manuel Ramirez, G, Texas Tech
72 Minnesota Tarell Brown, CB, Texas
73 Houston Josh Gattis, S, Wake Forest
74 Buffalo Brandon Mebane, DT, California
75 Atlanta Eric Weddle, S, Utah
76 San Francisco Quentin Moses, DE, Georgia
77 Pittsburgh Kenny Irons, RB, Auburn
78 Green Bay Andy Alleman, G, Akron
79 Jacksonville Tanard Jackson, S, Syracuse
80 Tennessee Tim Shaw, OLB, Penn State
81 NY Giants Samson Satele, C, Hawaii
82 St. Louis Dustin Fry, C, Clemson
83 Carolina Michael Johnson, S, Arizona
84 Kansas City Marcus Thomas, DT, Florida
85 Seattle Michael Bush, RB, Louisville
86 Denver A.J. Davis, CB, North Carolina State
87 Dallas Daymeion Hughes, CB, California
88 New Orleans Ben Patrick, TE, Delaware
89 NY Jets Michael Coe, CB, Alabama State
90 Philadelphia Aundrae Allison, WR, East Carolina
91 New England Michael Okwo, ILB, Stanford
92 Minnesota Lorenzo Booker, RB, Florida State (Traded by Buffalo to Minnesota for 7th pick)
93 San Diego Josh Beekman, G, Boston College
94 Chicago Courtney Taylor, WR, Auburn
95 Indianapolis David Clowney, WR, Virginia Tech
96 San Diego Antonio Johnson, DT, Mississippi State
97 San Francisco Dan Bazuin, DE/OLB, Central Michigan
98 Indianapolis Fred Bennett, CB, South Carolina
99 Oakland Buster Davis, ILB, Florida State

Florida 41, Ohio State 14: What the Fuck Happened?

I am at a loss for words. This was by far, BY FAR, the worst Ohio State game I have ever seen. The Buckeyes were outplayed in every facet of the game, and, even more shockingly, were completely outcoached. For therapeutic reasons, I must now sort through this mess. Join me if you will.

• TED GINN SHOULD HAVE JUST DOWNED THE OPENING KICKOFF
Of course I don’t actually think Ginn should have downed the ball, especially since his return ended up being Ohio State’s highlight of the night. In hindsight, however, one could argue that the quick score hurt the Buckeyes on two fronts. First, had Ohio State started the opening drive at say the 35 or so and had gone on a sustained scoring drive, it would have put the Gators defense back on its heels. While it could be argued that the Ohio State offense is incapable of completing a sustained scoring drive versus the Florida defense, I believe that on the opening drive Florida wouldn’t be playing defense the way they were for the remainder of the game. After Ginn returned that kick, Ohio State felt like the game was theirs, and Florida had to be having their doubts. When the Gator offense came out and marched right into the end zone, however, the entire Florida team was galvanized and truly believed that they could beat the Buckeyes. Ohio State, on the other hand, realized that beating Florida wasn’t going to be easy, and the offense came out timid against the now-fired-up Gator defense. The result was an ugly three-and-out that set the tone for the rest of the game. Which brings us to…

• THE FIRST TWO OFFENSIVE POSSESSIONS OF EACH TEAM TOLD THE ENTIRE STORY
What I mean by this is that if someone had watched only those two possessions, they would have seen how the entire game went. Why is that? Well, Ohio State never once made an adjustment or changed their play-calling, so Florida just kept doing the exact same things that worked every single goddamn time! The two biggest problems Ohio State needed to adjust? Well, first…

• GET THE OHIO STATE CORNERS ON THE FUCKING LINE OF SCRIMMAGE
For the entire game, regardless of down or distance, the Ohio State corners were at least 7 yards off of the line of scrimmage, and were often joined by James Laurinaitis and the other Buckeye linebackers. Why? Why? WHY? Florida’s longest pass completion was 20 yards, and I’m sure that most of that yardage was run-after-catch since I can’t recall Florida attempting one pass longer than 10 yards. If that’s the case, why not get your secondary up on the line? If Florida then beats you deep, then adjust again, but at least you’d make the Gators change their game plan. Instead, Jim Tressell just allowed Chris Leak to run a clinic on manning the Urban Myer offense. And speaking of Chris Leak, why not fucking blitz him? I counted five times when the Buckeyes just showed blitz and Leak’s reactions were: timeout, false start, timeout, throw away, false start (on a running back). Leak pissed himself at the mere hint of a blitz. Why the hell wasn’t he blitzed more? On the other side of the ball…

• THE NCAA DID NOT SUSPEND CHRIS WELLS OR ANTONIO PITTMAN
So why the hell didn’t they get to run? Here’s the big numbers for Pittman and Wells: Pittman-9 carries, 62 yards (6.9 yard average!), 1 TD; Wells-3 carries, 9 yards. Now I know the Buckeyes were trailing most of the game, but it didn’t become pass-every-down time until the 4th quarter. Why couldn’t OSU’s top 2 backs get more than 12 carries between them? It’s not like the passing game was so dazzling that Tressell was just sticking with what worked. Troy Smith, Heisman Trophy winner, had a fantastic 4-14, 35 yard day that included an interception and a fumble. You can’t blame him entirely, however, since none of his receivers could get open and his line was somewhat iffy (but not as bad as you think they were). It didn’t help that Ginn got hurt on the first play from scrimmage, but that should have been even more reason to run. Oh, and speaking of the receivers not being open, I have a theory on that…

• TROY SMITH IS WHO I THOUGHT HE WAS
Let me start by saying that I love Troy Smith. He has torched Michigan 3 times, and lit up Brady Quinn and Notre Dame last year. He’s a winner, a seemingly good kid who has learned from past mistakes, and truly deserving of his Heisman Trophy. All that being said, Troy Smith is not going to be a good NFL quarterback. Why? First off, Troy Smith’s best trait is that he knows his limitations. While Brady Quinn may not have put up the efficient numbers that Smith did, Quinn also made throws that Smith—to his credit—would never attempt. Smith knows the throws he can and can’t make, and knows how to avoid making those throws he can’t make to protect himself from failure. Smith was also playing in an offense designed to protect him from failure. All of the routes, all of the protections, everything about the offense is designed to give Smith limited reads on the same sight lines. Most of the protections the Bucks ran tonight were max or near-max, leaving three or four options running routes, usually on the same side of the field. With Florida’s speed, they were able to shut off whichever side of the field Smith was trying to go to and attack him from the opposite side. The result was Smith holding the ball forever and the line being unable to protect that opposite side. Finally…

• FLORIDA PLAYED THE GAMES OF THEIR LIVES
Sometimes you just get beat, and Florida beat Ohio State soundly. The Gators played with more passion, with more aggression, and with more creativity. Urban Myer solidified himself among the elite coaches in the nation, while Jim Tressell suffered the first real blow to his previously unblemished reputation. I gotta wonder, though, what the the hell the Gators are going to do on offense next year. Is Tim Tebow going to run up the middle every single goddamn play, or does Myer have a quarterback waiting in the wings to throw the ball on almost every down Tebow isn’t in? Whatever. Fuck Florida, fuck Michigan, and fuck North Carolina, too. God, I feel like Mike Cooper right now.

Roddy Piper in...Pro Wrestling Insanity!

I just heard Roddy Piper has lymphoma over at Waste of Technology, which is a bummer. As a tribute or whatever, here's some fucking insane clips of the Rowdy one. Enjoy.

Piper in Alcatraz


Piper in Black Face (are you fucking serious?!)


Piper hits Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka with a coconut (and says some racist shit)


Piper smashes a beer bottle over his head for no good reason


Piper making homophobic statements


Piper insults Asians


Piper in the most insane fight scene in a movie ever (They Live)

Galloping Gertie

This clip is of the fall of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge on November 7, 1940. To read the full story, click here (Damn Interesting).

This Could Never Happen Now: C'etait un Rendevous

On Christmas, I went to my aunt and uncle's house. Now my uncle and my two cousins are huge car enthusiasts, which I must admit I am not. The whole first hour I was there they kept talking about this movie called Rendeveous that my uncle got for Christmas. Finally, they popped it in, and I was blown away. I watched it three more times with them. This is that movie, actually called C'etait un Rendevous. It is a ten-minute film released in 1976 in which the director, Claude LeLouch, strapped a camera onto the front of a Ferrari 275 GTB and drove through Paris at 5 or 6 AM. There is a ton of mythology surrounding the film, which you can read here. Also, I highly recommend seeing it on a large TV with surround sound. It blows this version out of the water. Enjoy.

Why Isn't This A Hit? The Thermals--"Pillar of Salt"

Do you have that favorite song or movie or TV show or book or whatever that everytime you hear/watch/read it you find yourself wondering why it isn't a huge hit? Well, I've decided to to take a look at my personal "should-be hits" and explore why they should be hits and why they are not and then wonder what would happen if they were a hit. Today, I'll start with the song "Pillar of Salt" by The Thermals.



WHY IT SHOULD BE A HIT
Did you just see that? Was that song not catchy as hell? Why isn't that getting played on your town's version of K-Rock or whatever CBS radio is calling your local alternative station? Hell, why isn't it getting played on your local Kiss FM pop station? It's that catchy. Why can't I hear this ANYWHERE, college radio included? I didn't hear this until this past Saturday--even though it came out on August 22--and I'm piping hot mad that I had to go that long without it getting stuck in my head. Do we really need the same Red Hot Chilli Peppers song they've been releasing for the past 8 years instead of this? Seriously? Even the video is fun and engaging. These guys (and gal) are edgy and hipper than me, yeah, but they sure do seem like fun. Hell, I'd even throw a little something into the girl (and maybe the drummer, if only out of sympathy since he doesn't seem to be getting alot of facetime). What the fuck, radio stations? PLAY THIS!

WHY IT ISN'T A HIT
Maybe the Thermals are just a little too edgy, MAN! Or, maybe they just don't want the success and fame and turned down offers to turn them into stars. Or maybe the vague religious allusions in the lyrics rub corporate big-wigs and Average Teenage Consumer (the only people still buying music, really) the wrong way. And it's not even because the lyrics are necessarily anti-religious. I mean, Nine Inch Nails are pretty anti-religion, but they get tons of radio play. I think it's the fact that "Pillar of Salt" doesn't explicitly say anything about religion, but only implies it with the way the words are sung and with the general image the band puts out. Also, I heard about The Thermals and "Pillars of Salt" on hipster blogs, which means that hipsters like the song and The Thermals, and anytime a hipster tells an average Jane or Joe what to listen to, Jane or Joe's natural instinct is to resist. Also, the video is pretty goddamn hipster itself, with the Arrested Development (the TV show, not the rap group) chicken dances thrown it and cameos by the lead singer of the Decemberists and other (likely) hipster icons (I honestly don't know who those other people were).

WHAT IF IT WAS A HIT?
If "Pillar of Salt" were a hit, I'd still love it, but I'd feel guilty about loving it rather than hip because I love it, much the same way I feel guilty about loving Fall Out Boy or My Chemical Romance. Also, while here, in the real universe, I take The Thermals and their image seriously (despite knowing little to nothing about them) and assume that they formed a while ago and have only gotten to "Pillar of Salt" after many lean years on the road. In the alternate universe where "Pillar of Salt" is a huge hit, however, I would assume that The Thermals and their image are huge, prefabricated shams, and that the band formed a month before the release of the song and that each member was chosen based on how they appeal to a certain demographic. Perhaps it's better that the song is not a hit.

What did MacGyver say to the face?

SMACK!

Pop Rock 2006: Pissing my brother off with all of the damn emo

Tonight I conclude my Top 20 albums list with a look at my six favorite pop rock records. Enjoy.

6. The Killers—Sam’s Town
This album is actually a little disappointing, but will probably grow on me just like Hot Fuss did (it wasn’t until three months after I bought it that I finally listened to it).
HIGHLIGHT: “Enterlude”/”Exitlude”

"Bones"


5. Snow Patrol—Eyes Open
This album has three of my favorite songs of the year on it: “Hands Open,” “Make This Go On Forever,” “Set Fire To The Third Bar featuring Martha Wainwright,” so, you know, kudos to Snow Patrol. Also, “Chasing Cars” is giving Hinder’s “Lips of An Angel” and Buckcherry’s “Crazy Bitch” a run for their money in the race to be the most played out song of the year.
HIGHLIGHT: “Hands Open”

"Hands Open"


4. Hush Sound—Like Vines
This is a girl/boy piano rock band that adds a refreshing twist to the whole Panic! At the Disco/Fallout Boy genre. Just a real sweet, relaxing listen.
HIGHLIGHT: “We Intertwined”

"Wine Red"


3. Matchbook Romance—Voices
This is my angry album of the year. I don’t know how to explain why this is better than the fifty other bands that sound exactly like this, so I won’t. Sorry.
HIGHLIGHT: “What A Sight”

"Monsters"


2. Taking Back Sunday—Louder Now
If you have liked any one song of this album you may have heard, then you will like this album. Every song sounds like the one you heard.
HIGHLIGHT: “Make Damn Sure”



1. Yellowcard—Lights & Sounds
You may be wondering how I can call myself a blogger (which, by the way, I never do) after naming Yellowcard among my top 20 albums of the year. Aren’t I supposed to be edgy and hip? Shouldn’t Joanna Newsom be on here instead? Well, the fact of the matter is Lights & Sounds is a CD full of singles. Every song could be on the radio. And when I think of pop music, I think of stuff I hear on the radio. Therefore, Lights & Sounds is one of my favorite albums of the year because I like listening to it. It is an enjoyable time. Sure it’s fluff, but sometimes you need a little fluff to stay sane.
HIGHLIGHT: “Sure Thing Falling”

"Rough Landing Holly"

2006 Indie Rock: A lot of new shit that sounds just like the old shit

Tonight the countdown of my top 20 albums of 2006 continues with my 8 favorite indie rock records. These are the albums that I don’t necessarily like all that much but that make me feel cool and important. Enjoy.

8. TV On The Radio—Return To Cookie Mountain
In the May 2005 issue of Esquire, Chuck Klosterman wrote a feature about the best music of the 21st century so far, which you can read here. Number 21 and last on the list was the release Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes by TV On The Radio, an album Klosterman wrote this about:

This is an interesting record. Actually, that's not true. This is a bad record. This is a stupid doo-wop noise-pop record that (on occasion) accidentally sounds like Beck's Midnite Vultures. But you will like this album if you are trying to nail some superhot hipster chick in your office who only sleeps with cool guys.

That pretty much says exactly why Return To Cookie Mountain is among my 20 favorite albums of the year.
HIGHLIGHT: “Province featuring David Bowie”

"Wolf Like Me"


7. Mates of State—Bring It Back
This album somehow sounds minimal and simple despite obviously high production values. Bring It Back takes me to a different time and place where the sun is just emerging after a rain and everyone feels melancholy.
HIGHLIGHT: “Running Out”

"Fraud In The 80s"


6. Silversun Pickups—Carnavas
For readers from the Cleveland area between the ages of 23 and 33, this sounds like something you would have heard on The End. For readers outside the Cleveland area, Silversun Pickups sound like a depressed version of Veruca Salt.
HIGHLIGHT: “Waste It On”

"Well Thought Out Twinkles"



5. The Format—Dog Problems
This sounds like a one-man Broadway show, as the lyrics are very introspective and personal but the musical style and arrangements are quite outlandish.
HIGHLIGHT: “Dog Problems”

"Dog Problems"


4. Cursive—Happy Hollow
This very well could be a concept album about The Wizard of Oz, or it could just be about when you reach that certain age when you must give up on your idealistic dreams and accept the life reality has dealt you.
HIGHLIGHT: “Dorothy At Forty”

"Dorothy At Forty"


3. Cold War Kids—Robbers & Cowards
This is a collection of minimalist songs based in rhythm that tell the tales of drunks, murderers, and other assorted characters.
HIGHLIGHTS: “Saint John” (There's already videos of these guys further down the page, so if you want to see one, scroll down.)

2. Annuals—Be He Me
I had never even heard of these guys until two weeks ago when I heard the angriest DJ ever play them on the shitty John Carol University radio station. Now I can't get enough of them.
HIGHLIGHT: “Brother”/”Dry Clothes” (I had to put these together because A) they blend together perfectly and B)I dream that someday they will be linked together eternally while being played during the mid-day workday rock block on your favorite rock station just like Queen's "We Will Rock You"/"We Are The Champions.")

"Brother"


1. The Sounds—Dying To Say This To You
This album sounds like it was released in 1985. It’s full of heavy synthesizers juxtaposed by snarling vocals. Quite simply, it is awesome.
HIGHLIGHT: “Ego”

"Song With A Mission"

2006 Hip Hop: Skateboarding, Top Billing From Far Left, Expected Robots, and Dealing, Using, and Quitting Coke

Tonight I will continue my year-in-review with the first installment of the rundown of my 20 favorite albums of 2006. There’s kind of an odd mix, with some relatively obscure bands mixed with some rather mainstream bands (which, if you look at most year end lists, equals shitty bands) mixed with more hip-hop than I realized. Today, I’ll begin with the hip-hop. Let the LISTING begin!

6. Lupe Fiasco—Food & Liquor
Lupe Fiasco raps about things 90 percent of other rappers would never rap about. For example, skateboarding.
HIGHLIGHT: “Kick, Push”

"Daydreamin' featuring Jill Scott"


5. Spank Rock—YoYoYoYoYo
This album is all over the place, with the most disjointed, oddly arranged beats you’ll hear on a record this year matched with rambling lyrics that don’t really make any sense at all. Somehow, this mess comes together to form a blast of a record.
HIGHLIGHT: “Sweet Talk”

"Rick Rubin"


4. Cut Chemist—The Audience’s Listening
Besides having the most awkward title ever (they couldn’t have just gone with The Audience Is Listening?), this album barely qualifies as hip-hop. It’s really just a collection of wordless songs made by some DJ. I guess you could rap over them--as in the track "What's the Altitude"--so I’ll throw it under hip-hop. Regardless of its classification, The Audience’s Listening is a good listen.
HIGHLIGHT: “(My 1st) Big Break”

"What's the Altitude featuring Hymnal"


3. Clipse—Hell Hath No Fury
The best album this year about dealing crack, and, although I don’t know this for certain, I’m sure there was a lot of competition (hell, Spank Rock might be about slinging the rock).
HIGHLIGHT: “Trill”

"Mr. Me Too featuring Pharrell"


2. Ghostface Killah—Fishscale
I learned recently that “fishscale” is a term used to describe the highest grade cocaine since the coke glistens like fish scales. The title fits, then, because this is the year’s best album about doing coke.
HIGHLIGHT: “Be Easy”

"Back Like That"


1. The Streets—The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living
Not only the best album put out by a white British rapper this year, but also the best album about quitting coke, thus completing the entire coke pyramid of my top three hip-hop albums.
HIGHLIGHT: “All Goes Out the Window”

"Prangin' Out"