Saturday, September 17, 2011

Joe Bauserman and the fear of failure

The most frustrating thing about the Buckeyes' 24-6 loss to the Miami Hurricanes mere minutes ago is that quarterback Joe Bauserman and his coach Luke Fickell showed how the fear of failure is a slippery slope to failure.  All night, Bauserman dropped back, scanned the defense, and scanned the defense, and scanned the defense, and scanned the defense, rolled out of the pocket, and threw it out of bounds.  I make fun of quarterbacks like Brady Quinn, Tim Couch, and Kevin Kolb for their propensity to check-down, but at least they throw the ball in play.  Bauserman is afraid to fucking play football.  He's so terrified of making a mistake, he decided at some point that he just wasn't going to throw the ball in play, ever.  Braxton Miller wasn't much better, but he's a true freshman, and he played like it.  Bauserman's shittiness forced Miller into a situation he clearly isn't ready for, so I blame Braxton's follies entirely on fuckhead Bauserman.

And then there's Fickell.  He clearly is in over his head, and I'm not just talking about him letting the game end with 3 goddamn timeouts in his pocket (which is a first for a team down 2 scores in the 4th quarter I would imagine and should be all the evidence everyone needs that Fickell is no long-term answer at head coach).  The penalties on fucking punt formations (punt formations!) and the sloppy tackling are evidence of a shithead who has no idea how to practice.  The Buckeyes were boring and ugly under Jim Tressel, but they always knew how to tackle and how to fucking line up for a punt.  Fickell's a joke, and so is this season.  Ohio State should just volunteer t to give up bowl eligibility this year since they're finishing 4-8 anyway, and hopefully avoid NCAA penalties that could affect the team when they have an actual coach and an actual quarterback.

As for the positives, punter Ben Buchanan overcame the punt formation fuckups to have a hell of a game booting the ball, and the defense performed pretty well considering they were on the field for 99% of the snaps.  The way they recovered from the sucker punch the Hurricanes delivered on their opening drive is the only reason Fickell shouldn't be fired tonight.  The running game also looked pretty awesome, especially considering how inept the passing game was.

This was a fucking joke.  I bought tickets to 5 games, and now I get to go sit in the cold and watch Joe Bauserman and his buddies try to score 6 points 5 times.  Is this a bitter reaction in the heat of the moment?  Yes, but it doesn't mean it isn't true.  The Buckeyes are in trouble, and their only hope is that Russell Wilson and Denard Robinson are the only two quarterbacks in all of the Big Ten.  4-8, no bowl, and a loss in Ann Arbor are haunting my visions of the future.  I pray that I'm wrong.   

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