Dr. Mangenius or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About the Browns and Jump On the Bengals Bandwagon

Preface
Cleveland Browns Stadium, Monday, October 13, 2008

Sitting in the best seats I will ever sit in for a sporting event (50 yard-line, club box), sipping on expensive Bass beers, and enjoying the company of my father and his two friends, I witnessed the greatest Cleveland Browns performance of the expansion era. The 1-3 Browns, coming off a bye that-- were it not for an ugly week 4 win over Cincinnati--could have been the end of the line for head coach Romeo Crennel and struggling starting QB Derek Anderson, defeated the defending Super Bowl champions and previously undefeated New York Giants--who also came into the game with an 11-game road winning streak (tied for 2nd longest ever)--35-14. In hindsight, the score is shocking, but even leading up to the game no one would have believed it.

The QB Class of 2007: Worst of the Decade?

Considering the struggles of the top two quarterbacks taken in the 2007 NFL Draft--Brady Quinn and JaMarcus Russell--, and that Kevin Kolb--the third quarterback selected in 2007--looked about as bad as someone can throwing for 391 yards, I started wondering if the quarterback class of '07 is the worst of the past ten years.  To find out, I looked over the quarterbacks selected in each draft from 1999 to 2008, and then rated each player and averaged out those ratings to determine the average value of each draft year.  To read more about how I came up with the ratings, go to the bottom of the page.  To see the crazy spreadsheet I used to determine all of this, go here.  The results are as follows, from best to worst.  Enjoy.

Browns Preseason Game 1: No Brady Quinn, Browns get the win

Just some thoughts on the Browns first preseason game vs. the Kansas City Chiefs…

• Charlie Frye looks like the clear-cut choice for the starting quarterback job. Frye went 12-15 for 122 yards and made excellent decisions in the passing game. His only poor choice was another bonehead move in the red zone, this time when he tried to scramble into the end zone with 12 seconds left in the half, the ball on the seven-ish yard line, and the Browns out of timeouts. Frye was stopped short, and the clock ticked to zero with Cleveland getting nothing to show for an impressive two-minute drill run by Frye. (Frye also fumbled a lateral to Jerome Harrison that was returned for a touchdown, but the decision was right. Frye should have just waited for Harrison to get out more into the flat.) Derek Anderson didn’t really get as many opportunities to throw as Frye, but when he did, he did not look sharp. A lot of his passes would sail over his receivers’ heads or dive at their feet, and his decision making was shaky. Twice Anderson checked out of a play on a blitz, and twice the play he checked into did nothing. (The first play was a Jason Wright run directly into the hole where three Chiefs were blitzing, and the second was an ineffectual pass to a tight end over the middle.) Ken Dorsey proved that he is nothing more than a third string quarterback, as his arm strength prevented him from throwing more than 10 yards downfield. Brady Quinn did not play, despite the promise made by Coach Romeo Crenell that he would get a few plays.

• Jamal Lewis looked good in limited time, running the ball 4 times for 20 yards and snagging 3 catches for 16 yards. Lewis’s success came despite the Browns rarely employing a fullback in front of him, which is Lewis’s preferred style of running. Jason Wright ran hard, but right into Chiefs defenders. He is going to have to learn some shake-and-bake moves or how to take a hit, or else have his season ended very soon by multiple concussions. Jerome Harrison led the team in rushing with 8 carries for 33 yards, but looked the worst out of the three running backs. First, he had the aforementioned fumbled lateral with Frye that Harrison just gave up on, allowing the Chiefs to return it for a touchdown. Then Harrison fumbled again on the next series, but the ball was recovered by Travis Wilson. He did improve on his blitz pickups from last year, but he still dances too much in the hole and looks like a work in progress. The Browns best run of the day came on an end-around by Josh Cribbs for 12 yards, although I don’t know how necessary it is to be running trick plays in the preseason. All of the backs had much larger holes than Browns backs of years past have had, with Seth McKinney and Joe Thomas standing out. Thomas, however, did look shaky in pass-protection, twice getting flagged for holding and constantly getting beat on inside moves. He did show good recovery after getting beat, though, and his quarterbacks still got the ball off in time, so that’s a good sign, I suppose.

• Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, and Joe Jurivicious were absolute non-factors in this game. Travis Wilson stood out with 2 catches for 29 yards, with a big one coming on third down on Frye’s end of the half two minute drill. An interesting development is taking place on the third tight end front, with Buck Ortega (4 catches, 39 yards) and Ryan Krause (2 catches, 34 yards) looking very impressive and incumbent Darnell Dinkins looking awful, in both pass-catching (not his strong suit) and blocking (what he’s there for).

• The defense looked dominant—although the Kansas City offense was atrocious—with Kamerion Wimbley looking like he’s ready to make the jump into the NFL elite. Rookie cornerback Eric Wright looked solid in coverage and in run support, while linebacker Kris Griffin impressed among the backups. An area of concern had to be stopping the run out of zone coverage; twice on third and long the Chiefs ran and picked up 15-17 yards. Other than that, the defense looked very impressive (although I don’t know why they showed so many blitzes).

• Phil Dawson looks like he’s past his late-season slump from last year, drilling three field goals (rookie Jesse Ainsworth missed his only attempt wide-left). The return game was two different stories. On kick returns, the Browns excelled, highlighted by Chris Barclay’s 88-yard touchdown return late in the fourth quarter to win the game. On punt returns, however, Cribbs and rookie Syndric Steptoe made poor decisions. Cribbs and Steptoe both fielded a punt inside the 10 (a big no-no), and then Steptoe let a punt go that bounced at the 20 and ended up being downed inside the 10. Hopefully the injured Tim Carter can do a better job when he gets healthy.

The Mighty Quinn has arrived (finally)

Brady Quinn finally signed with the Browns today, and all I have to say is why bother? Why not just make him sit out the rest of camp? He's so far behind now that what's the difference, right? But since that didn't happen, let's take a look into the crystal ball and see how Quinn's new five-year, $20 million contract (which could turn into $30 million, with incentives) will play out.

• YEAR ONE

Quinn won’t even see the field before the third preseason game, as Coach Romeo Crennel proved that he will punish rookie holdouts during Braylon Edwards’s rookie season. At about the ten game mark, with the Browns out of the playoff race and Crennel fired, Quinn will be thrown into the fire, and will show incremental improvement every week, giving the Browns and their fans a glimmer of hope for the next season. During the off-season, Quinn will act like a queer.

• YEAR TWO

Quinn will pick up where he left off, justifying the Browns surrendering a top-5 pick to Dallas for his rights. The Browns get off to a surprising start, and Quinn is the talk of the NFL. After two weeks of this, everyone in America is sick of it and now hate the Browns for being good and getting attention (unlike before, when America hated the Browns for sucking ass and being a joke to the national media). The Browns just miss the playoffs, but Quinn is playing at a Pro Bowl-level by the end of the season. During the off-season, Quinn will act like a douche.

• YEAR THREE

Quinn will holdout of training camp, demanding that he be paid like the Pro Bowler he played like at the end of the previous season (but is not actually, since he didn’t make the Pro Bowl). After missing the first two and half weeks of camp and drawing the ire of fans and teammates alike, Quinn will sign a seven-year, $80 million extension. He will then blow out his knee in his first preseason appearance, putting the rest of his career in question. During the press-conference announcing the devastating news, Quinn will cry uncontrollably, and not only when he is talking, but when others are as well, until eventually the entire room goes silent, waiting for him to compose himself (which he does after another 10-15 minutes).

• YEAR FOUR

Quinn will miss the entire year rehabbing. When he is not in the gym or in the tape room, he will act like complete Clown Shoes.

• YEAR FIVE

Quinn will report to camp in fantastic shape, but will have to compete with last year’s starter, Drew Stanton, who won fans over with his gunslinger ways in Quinn’s absence. Neither QB will gain an edge on the other, and the Browns enter the season with Quinn as the starter, but Stanton just as deserving. Cleveland will be split into two camps, either pro-Quinn or pro-Stanton, reminding those with a memory span longer than two years of the Tim Couch vs. Kelly Holcomb debate. I will then kill myself. (Also, Brady Quinn will act like a complete queer who smells vinegary like a douche and will wear a big pair of ridiculous Clown Shoes.)

Welcome To The Dawg Pound, Mighty Quinn

The Browns’ 2007 Draft is the draft I never thought would happen in Cleveland. The whole thing reeked of logic, intelligence, foresight, and, quite frankly, balls (big, beautiful balls), qualities that have been lacking in every facet of the “new” Browns up until now. Phil Savage could have played it safe, keeping his picks and being content with Joe Thomas, Eric Wright, and a running back (probably Antonio Pittman). But he put his neck on the line, moving up using next year’s number one to steal who I feel will be the best quarterback of this draft, Brady Quinn. The trade signaled a few things: 1.) The Browns really did like Quinn, just not as much as Thomas. 2.) Savage must not have liked any QBs in next year’s class, and I agree. Early projections have Brian Brohm of Louisville and Chad Henne of Michigan as the top 2 QBs on the board, and Quinn is better than either of them (besides, if you think Brady Quinn was unpopular in Cleveland leading up to the draft, imagine the venom if Henne was projected to go to the Browns). 3.) Savage believes the Browns must either take a big step this season or face tremendous heat for trading what could turn out to be a high draft pick. This is what I really like. Rarely do you see a GM or coach stick his neck out in such a way. So without any more fuss, here’s a pick-by-pick run down of what could be the draft Browns fans are telling their kids about.

1. (3) Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin

Thomas is the safest pick in the draft besides Calvin Johnson, and, although I had doubts about using the number 3 pick on a lineman, I was on board as soon as his name was called. There’s just something comforting about knowing that this beast is lining up for the Browns. The selection of Thomas also made every player on offense better, especially the demon seed quarterback hybrid known as Charlie Frye/Derek Anderson.

2. (22) Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame

I wanted him at 3, but getting him at 22 is better, for more than just the obvious monetary reasons:

· Quinn will be motivated by the snub. While I never really doubted his drive to be great (you don’t appear on every single sports outlet in the United States talking about your desire for success without backing it up), there are now tangible teams that he can push himself to prove wrong.

· The drop will also help tone down Quinn’s confidence. Granted, you want your franchise QB to be confident, but Quinn comes off as borderline cocky, which may be what turned him off to a lot of fans. The humiliation of sitting for hours waiting for his name to be called may erase that edge from his personality.

· There won’t be as much pressure on him, nor will he need to be thrown to the wolves due to a high cap number. With the more modest 22^nd pick salary, the Browns won’t feel like Quinn is dead cap weight while he sits on the bench and learns for a while, possibly even an entire season.

The trade to get Quinn doesn’t really appear as if it will hurt long-term, either. After the three trades Dallas and Cleveland made during the draft, this is what was actually exchanged:

CLEVELAND: 22^nd pick (Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame), 53^rd pick (Eric Wright, CB, UNLV), 200^th pick (Melila Purcell, DE, Hawaii), 234^th pick (Syndric Steptoe, RS, Arizona)

DALLAS: 2008 First Round Pick, 67^th pick (James Marten, OT, Boston College), 103^rd pick (Isaiah Stanbeck, QB, Washington), 178^th pick (Nick Folk, PK, Arizona), 36^th pick (traded in package to Philadelphia for 26^th pick (Anthony Spencer, DE, Purdue))

So for this upcoming season, the Browns netted a franchise quarterback, a possible shutdown cornerback, a situational pass-rusher project, and a return specialist (presumably to handle punts, since Josh Cribbs struggles in that department) while giving up a developmental offensive lineman without a position, a quarterback who by all indications will be a wide receiver, a kicker, and parts of a package for a DE/OLB hybrid. I’ll take that any day. As for next year’s number one, I hope that it won’t be that high. Even if it is, though, I don’t really see it affecting the Browns all that much. Let’s say, for example, that the Browns are at number 3 again, and that the top 3 prospects are Brian Brohm, Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas, and Jake Long, OT, Michigan. The Browns don’t need Long or Brohm, having already acquired Thomas and Quinn this year, and while McFadden would be kick ass to have, 2008 looks like it’s going to be one of the deepest running back classes ever (McFadden; Steve Slaton, West Virginia; Felix Jones, Arkansas; Mike Hart, Michigan; Allen Patrick, Oklahoma; Ray Rice, Rutgers; Jonathan Stewart, Oregon; etc.). One of these guys has to be there in the second round, so the Browns will still get their future workhorse. Bottom line, I’d make that deal seven days out of the week.

(One more reason to like this pick: it may just push Charlie Frye into becoming a productive quarterback, ala Drew Brees after San Diego drafted Phillip Rivers. Bringing Quinn in sends a clear message to Frye (and to Derek Anderson, for that matter) that he is not the future. If Frye were smart, he’d start working his ass off so that when the reins are finally handed over to Quinn, Charlie will be a commodity that other teams would like as their starting quarterback. Otherwise, a career of holding clipboards appears to be Frye’s future.)

3. (53) Eric Wright, CB, UNLV

I am shaky on this pick. On the one hand, Wright is said to be the most talented corner in the draft, and projects to be a shutdown-type player if he fulfills his potential. On the other hand, he was involved in a rape case, which is always a little hard to swallow. I like it more than I don’t like it, I guess because Savage seems to know what he’s doing as far as character judgment goes. I’d almost rather have kept the third- and fourth-rounders we gave up, especially since Antonio Pittman would have been available. This is the biggest risk Savage took.

4. (140) Brandon McDonald, CB, Memphis

A converted receiver who has average speed and below-average size, McDonald projects as a dime back, which is about the only position left to fill in the Browns secondary following Wright’s selection. Assuming Gary Baxter continues to progress in his comeback from dual-torn patellas, the Browns should field a fearsome secondary:

CB Leigh Bodden

CB Eric Wright

FS Sean Jones

SS Brodney Pool

NB Gary Baxter

DB Devin Holley/Brandon McDonald

Besides, the Browns proved last year that you can never have enough depth in the secondary.

5. (200) Melila Purcell, DE, Hawaii

A solid athlete who apparently has been known to give up on plays; hopefully being a 6^th round pick will instill a little effort into him, because the Browns need someone to step up at end.

6. (213) Chase Pittman, DE, LSU

Looks like Pittman is a run-stuffer. I for some reason think he’ll be solid because he played end for LSU. Hopefully I’m right.

7. (234) Syndric Steptoe, RS, Arizona

Brought in strictly to handle punts as far as I can tell, as he doesn’t seem to have what it takes to be a receiver in the NFL.

All in all, I love what the Browns did. The only thing that keeps this from being a perfect draft is the team’s failure to get another running back to complement Jamal Lewis. Pittman would have been ideal, but I suppose a possible shutdown corner is harder to find than a complementary halfback.