Cavs 94 Washington 84: Quick Thoughts

• Holy mother, Anderson Varerjao.  For proof of how scoring is an overrated component of winning basketball, Varejao dominated this game despite only 9 points.  Two blocks is good, 22 rebounds is amazing, but not surprising (although it is a new career-high for Andy), but 9 assists is unreal.  I don't know if running the offense through Andy in the high post is a new, permanent wrinkle of Byron Scott's offense or if Andy was just taking advantage of poor weakside help by the Wizards, but it was a joy to watch.
• Kyrie Irving had the kind of quietly dominant games superstars tend to have throughout a season.  I felt like Irving was saving himself for the 4th quarter a little until Fox Sports Ohio flashed the 24 points he had near the end of the 3rd quarter.  A final line of 29 points and 6 rebounds on 55 percent shooting would be welcome nightly, although you'd have to hope he finishes with more assists than turnovers from here on out (3 assist to 4 turnovers tonight).  Another sign Irving is quickly ascending to Superstar status is the call he got in the 4th when he obviously tripped over himself.  The Cavs were trailing at that point, and a turnover there may have swung the game.
• In the battle of #3 pick against #4 pick, Dion Waiters came out well-ahead, putting up a solid 17 points and 3 steals versus Bradley Beal's 8 points on 2-8 shooting.  Waiters was active, and attacked the hole throughout the evening.  He hit the three of the game in the 4th, and was much better than I gave him credit for in my Cavs preview, as well as exponentially more impressive than he his performances in Summer League and preseason suggested he could be.  Hopefully, he keeps it up.
• Alonzo Gee had a rough game.  Four points on 2-9 shooting, 3 rebounds, 2 steals, and three turnovers aren't good numbers, and it felt like he fouled out of this game 3 times (even though he finished with only 5 fouls).  Fortunately for Gee (but unfortunately for the Cavs), C.J. Miles was even worse, shooting 1-5 with 3 turnovers and a bad decision nearly every time he touched the ball.  Omri Casspi must be horrible to not see a second of action behind these two.
• The bench bunch as a whole is a reason for real concern, as the combination of Miles, Donald Sloan, Boobie Gibson, Tyler Zeller, and Luke Walton surrendered most of a 12-point Cleveland lead entering the 4th in seemingly 2 minutes.  If Gibson's shot isn't falling like it was in the 1st half (10 points, 7 in the 2nd quarter), this unit simply cannot score (Cleveland didn't score until there were 7 minutes left in the game).  Zeller looked like a rookie big man, Sloan had one nice move negated by one of the worst calls I've ever seen (have you ever heard of a player pushing off with his knee?) but not much else to contribute, and when Walton checked in I seriously thought an assistant coach had suited up as a goof.  I find it hard to believe Samardo Samuels or Jon Leuer couldn't provide more than Walton's bloated corpse did (2 points, 1 rebound, 2 turnovers), and I hope we see 100% more of the two young bigs in the (very) near future.
• A win is nice, but it comes with a grain of salt.  The Wizards are missing John Wall and Nene, and they were leaning heavily on Jordan Crawford and Earl Barron to carry them down the stretch.  You can justifiably wonder why Crawford and Barron were in the game over A.J. Price and Emeka Okafor to begin with (if Okafor were in, for instance, i find it hard to believe Tristan Thompson would  have gotten three straight wide open dunks from the exact same spot on the right block), but it also shows how thin the Wizards are. \The Cavs will have a better gauge of where the stand early on after Friday's game vs. Chicago.
• Here's hoping Wizards' assistant coach Sam Cassell takes over for Randy Wittman before the end of the season, if for no other reason than to see him do his Big Balls dance as Washington jogs towards the huddle after a timeout.  Of course,  I suppose he could do that as an assistant, too.      

Raiders versus Browns RECAP!

OFFENSE

• Let’s get the bad out of the way. Absolutely, without doubt, Charlie Frye shouldn’t have thrown that interception in the end zone. Everyone and their mother (seriously, my mom called me and asked what the fuck Chuck was doing) knows you don’t throw across the field, especially when you have as questionable arm strength as Frye does. The Browns had a three point lead, were in field goal range, and were facing an offense that had remembered who they were in the second half. There was no need to take a chance like that, and Frye needs to understand that. With all of that being said, however, I think that it was just a case of Frye’s competitiveness getting the best of him. He wanted to kill the Raiders right there, and while I can in no way condone the play, I can at least admire where the motivation for it was coming from.
• Reuben Droughns had his first 100 yard game of the season, but let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet. Coming in to today’s game, Oakland had given up 332 yards on the ground this year, or an average of 166. So by those standards, the Browns actually underachieved.
• The passing game looked great, although I’ve heard some complaints that Kellen Winslow wasn’t involved enough. Haberdash. Frye did a great job spreading the ball around, hitting nine different receivers including a touchdown pass to Darnell Dinkins. Winslow, Harrison, and Jurevicius all came up with huge first down catches and Jurevicius made an amazing grab in the corner of the end zone for Frye’s third TD pass. Frye also made the smart play almost all game (save for the interception in the end zone) and put the ball exactly where it needed to be, even on incompletions (one such instance that stands out is when Frye was looking for Harrison running a wheel route and threw to the outside, so that even though it was incomplete, only Harrison could make a play on it).
• The play-calling was much improved, especially the use of screens against the aggressive Oakland pass rush.

DEFENSE

• The run defense has to be a concern. Lamont Jordan piled up 128 yards after having only 55 combined in the Raiders’ first two games, and Justin Fargas added 54 on only three carries. All in all, the Raiders tore up the Browns for 194 yards on the ground. You’d think that when facing a team that starts Andrew Walter at quarterback, your defense would be stacked against the run. Well, if the Browns defense was, I shudder to think what Jordan could’ve done if the Browns had played more straight up.
• I’d like to say the pass D was good, holding Walter to a 9/23, 68 yard day, but I don’t think it had much to do with our D. I wouldn’t necessarily say it was Walter’s fault either, since many of his throws were right on target. No, I’d say that the Raiders’ receivers are gutless, and it starts with Randy Moss, who had only one catch for 5 yards (albeit a touchdown catch). There were just too many instances where Walter would put the ball right in the recievers’ hands and they would just drop it, or where Walter would throw up a jump ball—usually to Moss—and the receivers just didn’t make the effort to get the ball.

SPECIAL TEAMS

• The real star of the game. The Browns racked up an astounding 217 yards on returns, and should have had three touchdowns out of them. First, Joshua Cribbs stepped on the sideline, then Janikowski caught Cribbs, and finally Shane Lechler corralled Dennis Northcutt. I think that our return game is quite strong, but I don’t think it’s this strong. Like their receivers, the Raiders special teams should be ashamed.

Monday Night Football: Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints

A few quick thoughts on the first half of the Monday Night Football game…

• Isn’t it strange that New Orleans is welcoming back the Saints since we all know it’s the Saints’ fault that Hurricane Katrina kicked as much ass as it did? Think about it. In 2000, the Saints fired Mike Ditka, and, as we all know, if Ditka fights a hurricane, Ditka wins (unless the hurricane’s name is Ditka).
• Leave it to ESPN to make me actually cheer against the Saints with their sappy coverage of New Orleans and the devastation the city has seen. Thank God they’ve kept their 9/11 coverage low-key and to a minimum.
• Why the hell is the Packers/Eagles game on Monday night?
• Alge Crumpler just dropped two relatively easy touchdown passes. Did Ryan Hamby cover himself in shoe polish and steal Crumpler’s jersey?
• With about 4 minutes left in the first quarter, Reggie Bush ran a counter, danced in the hole, and got dropped for a 3 yard loss. On the next play, Bush ran a draw, hit the hole hard, and picked up 5 yards. It is rare to see a rookie make such quick adjustments, and serves as further proof that Bush is going to be a hell of a player very soon.
• Devery Henderson just scored on a double reverse. There’s one of Sean Payton’s infamous, and I mean no offense to anyone, Jap plays in action.
• New Orleans punter Steve Weatherford has more tattoos than every other punter in NFL history combined, not including Chris Gardocki, of course, who has a slash tattooed on his back for every punt he has that doesn’t get blocked (the count is making its way around his taint and should have his banana and nuts covered by the end of the season).
• Warrick Dunn is 22 on the NFL’s all-time rushing yards list. That is astounding. With the advances in medical technology, the lengthening of the schedule, and the fact that players don’t have to work in the off-season (as they did up until the 70s) and can concentrate on training, I predict that in 20 years the top 25 all-time rushers will have all played after 1990.
• Interesting how Mike Tirico had to throw ABC in when listing the news networks that carried Katrina coverage (CNN and Fox News were the other two). Do you really think that ABC was people’s third choice or do you think the bosses at Disney (which owns both ABC and ESPN) made sure Tirico included ABC? Or do you think Tirico was just kissing ass?
• I know I’m a bit of a dick, and am openly rooting for Atlanta to break New Orleans’ collective heart. But Joe Horn just got a standing O after going up high over the middle to make a catch and getting drilled. I hate to say it, but it was a genuinely cool moment.
• Tirico: “DeLoach just picked up a silly flag.” I wish they actually had a “silly flag” for stupid penalties, one with polka dots and streamers and shit. That would be fun.
• U2 & Green Day: Nothing says “New Orleans” like a self-righteous rock group from Ireland and a played-out punk band from Orange County.
• Kornheiser, following the Saints blocking a field goal: “How good do you feel if you’re a member of the Saints or a fan of the Saints?” implying that they’re feeling good because a hurricane destroyed their city and this is offering an escape. News flash, Tony. If the Browns had just had a half like the Saints did, I and every other person in Northeast Ohio would be pretty goddamn happy, just as I’m sure actual members of the Browns would be. And with that, I fear that the Saints are going to roll to victory. If this game has proven anything, it’s that when the Falcons are in a close game and can just pound the ball, they’re pretty damn good, but when a team opens up a lead on them and forces Vick to pass, they’re extremely beatable. We’ll see how it plays out.

And some non-MNF notes…
• First Shaun Alexander goes down, and now Kurt Warner just got benched. It’s looking pretty bleak for the Battered Roast Beef 2006 Fantasy Football Club.
• The Indians just crushed the White Sox, 14-1, highlighted by Casey Blake hitting the team’s 14th grand slam of the season. I guarantee that the Indians will score one or less runs the next game. It’s just been that kind of season.
• For those that care, you can see the entire Matt Hughes fight from Saturday here.

Monday Night 9-18-06: Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville

Pregame

• In his Nutrisystem weight loss commercial, why does Dan Marino throw like my step-dad, who’s had a torn rotator cuff since he was 18? Was the weight he lost the ligament that bends his elbow when he throws? Or was it the part of the brain that manifests pride? Sellout.
• Why do people care that TO is hurt? Haven’t they watched a Cowboys game? The offense is designed to spread the ball around, with Drew Bledsoe’s old Boston girlfriend Terry “She” Glenn being the favored target. Complete over saturation of Owens, and, for once, it’s not his own doing.
• Jim Mora, Jr. must’ve finally given up on the idea of Michael Vick as a traditional QB and decided to have the first professional option offense since polio was threatening the youth of America’s health. And, shockingly, it might actually work.
• Don’t you wish Tom Jackson would ask Michael Irvin if he’s retarded every time Irvin talks? For now, Jackson just laughs at Irvin like you or I would laugh anytime a retard talks.
• Why is Chris Mortensen never allowed to sit at the cool semi-circle table with the rest of the crew? Even when they’re in the studio, Mort’s off in a corner with a computer behind him, implying that he can’t be away from it in case a hot news item comes in. But if he has ESPN Mobile (which I’m sure he does), why does he need to be at the computer? Maybe he’s the guy who sends out the updates. Or perhaps he’s just an asshole.
• George Seifert didn’t win any of his Monday Night games with the Panthers? I’m shocked.
• Berman just mentioned how Deion Branch won the Super Bowl MVP in Jacksonville and how he is now a Seahawk. If anyone had asked me, I could have told you that Branch would be gone from the first moments it became an issue. I was amazed that no one brought up Belichick’s handling of Bernie Kosar in Cleveland in regards to Branch. Back in ’93, Belichick shocked Cleveland by cutting Kosar, citing Bernie’s “diminishing skills” (and, hence, the name of a blog is born). Even more shocking was that Bernie’s replacement, Vinny Testeverde, had just broken his ankle, forcing the Browns to start my favorite and yours, Todd Philcox. But Belichick was resolute in his decision, just as he was with Branch. New England’s offensive struggles against Buffalo in week one only hastened the move, as the media determined that the Patriots would have to give in to Branch’s demands, forgetting that Belichick loves to give the finger to the media and any semblance of conventional thinking. And you know what? It was the right move. Branch is getting way too much money now, and the Pats got a 1^st rounder, which should turn into a good player, given New England’s recent draft history. As a side note, I heard Joe Theisman this morning on Mike & Mike commenting on the Patriots game yesterday, saying that without Branch, New England lacks an outside burner. Joe, Branch never was an outside burner! He is a precise route runner with excellent hands. He’s a tremendous possession receiver, but the big plays in New England’s offense over the years have come from David Patten, David Givens, and (possibly) Bethel Johnson. Besides, Chad Jackson looked pretty good to me.
• Michelle Tafoya seems vaguely Asian. Or perhaps Native American. Hmmm.
• Sal Palintonio has never smiled. Ever. What a pro.
• Thank God! I’m extremely excited to see Tony, Joe, and Mike playing golf. I’m so excited, I’m actually rewinding my Tivo just to see the teaser about it again.
• My respect for Byron Leftwitch has grown exponentially. Not only did he boo Joe Theisman as a kid, but he told him about it.
• Suzy Kolber is looking feisty tonight; her eyes are squinty, as always, but she still doesn’t look as Asian as Michelle Tafoya.
• For the second straight week, MAC QBs are starting on national TV. Eventually, I’m gonna look up the ratio of MAC starting QBs versus the major conferences. I will not be shocked if the MAC favors quite well.
• “Michael’s Playmakers” is the worst segment about football that does not involve Shannon Sharpe, especially (or perhaps because of) Irvin’s terrible first person voice over. Here’s one for ya, Mike: “I’m Tom Jackson, and Michael Irvin is retarded.”
• My buddy Matt just teased Jacksonville +9 and the under at 43 for as much as I make in 2 weeks. We’ll keep a close eye on that.
• Ed Werder and Brad Childress: Separated at Birth?
• JACKED UP is so forced, and it really disappoints me that it’s Tom Jackson’s segment. He’s always been the voice of reason of this motley crew (see: Jackson calling Irvin a retard).
• Dwayne Wade just rolled in with Avon Barksdale’s crew. I swear that one dude is Bird.
• Porter and Cowher: Who’s the pitcher and who’s the catcher? My vote is Porter is whatever Cowher wants him to be. These football players are wired differently, almost like soldiers, in that they will do anything for their coach, whether it be droping into coverage, running up and down bleachers, taking a 39 year-old dick in the mouth, whatever.
• I just saw a UFC commercial, and what is George St. Pierre’s fighting style, Muy Tai? “Like dis? LIKE DIS?”
• They just showed a shot of the Jacksonville chapter of the Special People’s Club or whatever waving those Jaguar Tails on the field, and I have to wonder why Irvin wasn’t down there with them.
• The Jaguar mascot just dropped down to the field on a bungee cord, and it has to make you wonder if Owen Hart is under that mask.

First Quarter

• Eva Longoria is a definite upgrade over Arnold to open the show. This is how hot she is: I’ve seen so much of her that everything in me tells me to hate her, and yet I keep hoping for a Desperate Housewives commercial just to see her in that little white dress she’s wearing. Mmmmm.
• Good idea moving Kornheiser away from the middle of the booth. He looked like a cancer patient between Theisman and Terico.
• Rothlesberger’s motorcycle accident was bad luck? I thought it was just stupidity.
• This is the first time I’ve ever seen Jack Del Rio. It looks like he just got his ass kicked, but who’s kicking that guy’s ass? Answer: David Ackers.
• Big Ben’s temperature is 104? What’s he got now, typhoid? Now that would be bad luck.
• Robert Ferguson is getting mad love from GMC. Mad love.
• I think Theisman wants to fight Kornheiser about who’s day it was when appendectomies took 6 weeks to recover from as opposed to the modern recovery time of one week.
• Jeff Hartings’s nickname is Papa Smurf. If he wasn’t a Steeler, I’d like it. As it is, though, Jeff Hartings can suck a blue dick.
• Mike Peterson, introducing the Jags D: “Our linebackers will hit you and our corners will cover you.” On the first play following this, Craig Wilson wasn’t covered, but Brian Williams sure as hell hit him. Fourth down. This is gonna be a slobber knocker.
• Cowher had to check with Porter to see if he could challenge. I guess Porter changed his mind.
• Kornheiser on Cowher rescinding his challenge: “Cowher didn’t throw it far enough? You have to throw it 30 feet? Do you have to physically pick it up?” Fantastic stuff.
• Why does Porter have to do Chapelle’s Howard Dean bit? I want to like it, but, well, see Jeff Hartings.
• Theisman just asked if Dean lost. Holy shit.
• Reggie Williams wears his helmet awfully low, kind of like a motorcycle helmet. Is he trying to show up Rothlesberger?
• Ulti-mo doesn’t really work with football and Byron Leftwitch’s throwing motion. I saw it on Sunday Night Baseball, though, and you haven’t seen a swing until you see it in Ulti-mo. Fucking sweet.
• I like the Jaguars’ cheerleaders’ uniforms. They’re revealing, but not too revealing. They leave exactly enough to the imagination.
• Theisman: “The Steelers just ran a Dick LaBeau blitz up the middle.” Porter’s going to run a Dick LaBeau blitz on Cowher if the Steelers win.
• The entire skyline of Jacksonville looks like an airport.
• Way too much info with the diagrams of the appendectomy. It is interesting, however, that Joey Porter drew them with Bill Cowher as his model.
• Theisman: “You run the ball to give Ben a bit of a blow.” Cowher can only give Ben a blow if Porter can watch.
• 2^nd Steelers possession: Brian Williams covers and hits Hines Ward to bring up fourth down. Peterson knows his D, that’s for sure.
• Anybody know what song that is on the Budweiser commercial? It sounds like Q-Tip, but it could be McGoo since Q-Tip hasn’t had a song since that one that everybody liked but no one can remember.
• One quarter down: 0-0. Matt’s money’s looking safe.

Second Quarter

• Good advice from Theisman: Avoid 3^rd and 15 or longer. Jacksonville might want to take that one to heart. (But the Steelers are apparently such a juggernaut that the same situation won’t even slow them down. I swear, Theisman doesn’t know dick about shit, or maybe it’s shit about dick. Whichever.)
• I want to play Madden with Chad Johnson. EA should make that a contest or sweepstakes or whatever. Hell, I’d enter.
• The girl with the sign stating “No appendix? No problem for Big Ben” or something like that should have made a sign stating “No helmet? What a fucking idiot.”
• I don’t think anyone’s going to be able to run until the 4^th quarter. These defenses are smothering.
• Kornheiser agrees with Matt! “Bet the under.”
• Nate Washington got JACKED UP by Donnovan Darius. Unfortunately, the play was flagged under rule 15.3 section a: “Receivers and quarterbacks are pussies; therefore, never touch them. EVER.”
• Nice screen to Taylor. You have to run the screen against the zone blitz, since 2 or 3 down lineman will be dropping into zone coverage with zones rarely near the flat. You still have to have the skill to make something of it, though, and Taylor clearly does. (Dammit. My point just went out the window as Jacksonville got called for holding.)
• I’d punt it on 4^th down. Jacksonville can shift field position (they’ve started on the 16, 16, and 18). I love that Kornheiser just called Theisman out after the Jags only tried to draw the Steelers offsides while Theisman thought they were going to run a play. I also love that the Jags took the penalty. It gives the punter more room, and saves a timeout. Nine out of ten coaches would’ve called timeout before the play clock ran down.
• If the Steelers win, how much do you want to bet that some expert will compare Rothlesberger playing to Jordan in the flu game? Seriously, it will happen, and we will all agree that said expert is a fucking idiot.
• Deuce Staley may be inactive, but the Steelers still have a “deuce” up their sleeve. (Najeh Davenport once shit in a woman’s garbage can or closet or both when with the Packers. Ha.)
• Chad Owens, the Jacksonville punt returner, got JACKED UP by his own teammate and is now hurt. Now that’s bad luck.
• Wouldn’t you rather see Subway run the Happy Gilmore ad than those Jon Lovitz ones? I know I would.
• Theisman has more sound advice for the Jaguars before the half: “Don’t commit a penalty that will give Pittsburgh an automatic first down.” Top-notch analysis, top-notch.
• Kornheiser was describing how a game like this needs to be played in the snow and Theisman added “With breath coming out of their mouths.” Apparently, breath doesn’t come out of your mouth when it is warm out.
• End of half: 0-0. Matt’s booking trips.

Second Half

• End of 3^rd quarter: Jax 3- Pitt 0. Matt’s going to Red Lobster. Not a lot happening here, and if there is, I’m too tired to notice.
• Mathis picks off Big Ben. 4:53 left. Game. Maybe Tommy Maddox is still playing, if only in spirit.
• Mathis picks off Big Ben. 1:44 left. Game. Maybe Tommy Maddox is still playing, if only in spirit.
• Well, going along with the absurd knee-jerk reaction that is sure to follow this game, Jacksonville is a Super Bowl contender and Pittsburgh should be worried. Poppy-cock. The only teams we actually know anything about are Oakland (they blow) and Washington (they need a quarterback). Otherwise, the season is still young. What we do actually know is that Jacksonville owns Pittsburgh. I hope they meet in the playoffs so Big Ben can shit his appendix out. Oh, and Porter is still going to lay some pipe to the Chin. Peace.