Jumping To Conclusions Rankings: Week 1

Ranking college football teams before the season is an exercise in folly, and trying to evaluate who is really good or not after one, two, or even three games isn't much better.  Unfortunately, I will not have enough data to compile my deadly accurate WHAM rankings until after the fourth week of the season, so I'm going to have to wing it on some rankings for the beginning of the season.  Thus, the Jumping to Conclusions Rankings (previous rank in parentheses).

Here we go again: Steve Spurrier's contentious relationship with his QBs

Well, it didn't take long for Steve Spurrier to lose patience with Stephen Garcia this year.  Instead of waiting until the fourth quarter against the eventual national champions in a winnable game, Spurrier opted to go with Connor Shaw as his starting quarterback from day one, naming the sophomore the leading man for this Saturday's showdown with East Carolina.  While Garcia truly is a knucklehead, I still believe he gives the Gamecocks the best chance to win.  What if Shaw performs as he did in that 4th quarter against Auburn (2 INT)?  Does Spurrier go back to Garcia before the first quarter draws to a close?  And what message does that send?

College Football Picks 9/2/2011: GET PUMPED Edition Pt. 2

Well, night one of college football didn't go so well as I finished Thursday night 1-2.  Kentucky apparently does not know how to score without the departed Randall Cobb (he's on the Packers now, so if the 18 wide receivers in front of him on the depth chart ever retire or break a leg, you may get a chance to see how good he is), and Wisconsin didn't cover a 35 point spread by one point.  Man, no wonder Vegas makes money and I'm just typing these words to myself.  This weekend, I predict a big bounceback.  Just a reminder, I use my Diminishing Skills 120 for the rankings, and pick games involving the bottom 10 and the top 25 against FBS opponents only.

Diminishing Skills 120: The Top 25

Here it is, the final countdown.  This is going to be a sidebar heavy post, so forgive me, but there's a lot of info I need to cram in.  It's been a nightmare writing these, so I hope at least one person is reading them.  If you're out there, enjoy, you magnificent bastard, you!  (Also, a lot of you that get this in your e-mail have said you can't see the pictures.  Here's a solution: go to the website.  http://www.diminishingskills.blogspot.com  Bookmark it.)

Mitch Albom Can’t Get Enough of Brady Hoke’s Meat | The Big Lead

The Big Lead found some choice cuts from Mitch Albom's profile of new head coach Brady Hoke. Here's the highlight:

Mitch Albom Can’t Get Enough of Brady Hoke’s Meat | The Big Lead:

Here’s the money shot.

Hoke is a steak. He’s a porterhouse. A former linebacker, he is beefy in stature, beefy in voice (he does sound like that Chris Farley motivational speaker guy) and beefy in Michigan tradition. He loved Bo Schembechler, who used to call him “Hokey.” He worked for Gary Moeller, who made him an assistant. He rose up under Lloyd Carr, who thought so much of Hoke he appointed him associate head coach.

The pedigree is there. The history is there. Hoke makes Wolverines fans feel like lost kids who have found their way home.

'via Blog this'

College Football Picks 9/1/11: GET PUMPED Edition Pt. 1

(Note: make sure SafeSearch is on before Google Image searching "pumped."  You will see things you cannot unsee otherwise.)

College football is finally here, and I know you missed my spot-on picks last season, so I'm back to fill that gaping hole in your life.  This year, instead of picking the AP Top 25, I'm going to switch things around and pick games involving the Diminishing Skills Top 25 (which should be up tomorrow for your greedy little eyes to IGNORE you ungrateful bastards) and the bottom 10 teams in the Diminishing Skills 120.  As soon as the WHAM rankings are out, I will begin picking the top 25 and bottom 10 of those.  The odds are Auburn-hater Dan Sheridan's, the home team is in CAPS, and these picks are righter than a 90 degree angle.

Diminishing Skills 120: 50-26

We're finally getting into the good stuff on the 120, as some of these teams are legitimate threats for their respective conference championships, or even darkhorse BCS contenders.  Enjoy!


120-101
100-76
75-51


50. Washington (6-6)

The Huskies lose Jake Locker, but they do return 15 other starters (7 on offense, 8 on defense) from a team with a bowl win and experience in tough non-conference games (at BYU, Nebraska).  Steve Sarkisian should have Washington in back-to-back bowls for the first time since they appeared in 8 straight from 1995-2002.

Key Game: Arizona, October 29

(Just a quick aside, but I've noticed a lot of my Key Games are occurring on October 29.  That should be a great weekend of football.)  This matchup falls in the midst of a tough stretch for the Huskies, with a trip to Stanford the week before and a run vs. Oregon, at USC, and at Oregon State to follow.  This is a must-win if Washington wants to avoid a 5-game losing streak.

Diminishing Skills 120: 75-51

Due to my laziness/alcoholism/videogame addiciton, I didn't make much progress on the 120 this weekend.  Therefore, I had to skip Monday and am now behind.  I'm going to try to get this thing wrapped up before the season starts, but no promises.

Diminishing Skills 120: 100-76 (or, Disaster Strikes)

It was my intention to continue the countdown today, but after writing up even more involved capsules for teams 100-89, my clumsy, fat fingers managed to somehow select and erase every team from 100-88, undoing my entire night of work.  I just got a new laptop, and goddammit if those mouse things on them aren't the worst things ever.  So, long story short, I'm going to just list the next 25 teams and try it again over the weekend.  Sorry.

The Diminishing Skills 120: The Bottom of the Barrel

Hey there, college football fans!  I have some great news for you!  You know that football season you've been waiting all summer for?  Well, your wait is over, because I've gone through and predicted every single game correctly!  Now all you have to do is follow along with my inaugural rankings of all 120 FBS teams and you can see how each and every school will fare!  Plus, once I'm through with the rankings, I'll let you know how every conference and every bowl turns out, too!  How awesome, right?!!!

On a boring, letting-you-know-what's-going-on note, these rankings are loosely based on the premise of which team I think would win a head-to-head match-up on a neutral field.  Now, some of these don't necessarily fall under this premise, as I have ranked some teams ahead of others that I actually do see beating them during the season.  In those cases, it's just a gut feeling I'm going on, as well as the context of each team's individual season.  As for what I've written about each team, it can range from a musing about a past player or game I recall about a particular team to a micro-in-depth look at how I see a particular team's season playing out, as well as key game for each school.  I've tried my best not to repeat the same game between two schools, and have done my best to avoid listing annual rivalry games, since they are of course key games and don't really need me to point them out.  Also, I lack the computer knowledge to make sidebars, so instead I've just inserted large blocks of text in the middle of the rankings clearly marked *SIDEBAR*.  So read those accordingly.  And as always, enjoy the hell out of yourself, won't you please?

2011 NBA Mock Draft Version Beta: Half Way Down The Shaft

With the NBA Finals concluding with the much-deserved vanquishing of Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James, it's time to start getting serious about the draft.  For a more cursory look at this year's lottery, check out Version Alpha here. 

1. Cleveland Cavaliers (from LA Clippers)-Kyrie Irving, PG, Duke
Despite my concerns regarding how important All-Star-level point guard play is to winning a championship, Irving is still easily the pick for the Cavs.  The disparities between his NBA comps are pretty jarring (Draft Express has his ceiling at Deron Williams and his worst case at "Rich Man's Eric Maynor," while NBADraft.net compares him to Chris Paul...or Mike Conley), but I suppose that's to be expected when a guy only plays 11 games in college.
Alpha pick: Irving

Can An Elite Point Guard Win You An NBA Title?

With MVP and former #1 overall pick Derrick Rose's ouster from the playoffs Thursday night, and with the Cavs almost assuredly selecting Duke point guard Kyrie Irving with the #1 overall pick in this year's draft, I began mulling over something that I have wondered for a few years now: do elite point guards win NBA titles?

2011 NBA Mock Draft Version Alpha: Just The Tip

 1. Cleveland Cavaliers (from LA Clippers)-Kyrie Irving, PG, Duke

Irving has been the consensus #1 pick since Jared Sullinger returned to Ohio State for his sophomore season, and was probably even the prohibitive favorite to be the top pick before Sullinger's decision.  The Cavs apparently love the kid, and in this draft, there's little reason for them not to.  Let's just hope they have better luck with this Blue Devil than they did with Danny Ferry and Trajan Langdon.  Also, what does it say about the quality of this draft that the overwhelming consensus best player would probably be the fifth best point guard of the last three drafts (behind Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, Stephen Curry, John Wall, and (maybe) Ty Lawson)?

2011 NFL Mock Draft: The Rest of The First Round

Due to some oversleeping on my part, I'm going to be able to continue the rest of my thrilling mock draft.  The top 10 can be found here, as well as an analogy to poor children and ribbons that has apparently made some uncomfortable.  Therefore, there are no creepy analogies today, but instead only imaginary, uninformed draft picks!

2011 NFL Mock Draft: The Top 10

Hey gang!  It's late April, so that can only mean it's time for your favorite time of the year.  That's right, the 4th Annual Diminishing Skills Mock Draft!!!  Due to severe time constraints that leave me with little to no sleep each night, I'm unfortunately limiting this initial post to the top 10, which--even more unfortunately--may very well be the extent of this year's mock.  So, just as poor children learn to cherish the few shiny buttons and smooth ribbons they sneak from the art room at school to rub their cheeks against in their beds that they share with their 3 siblings, their mom, her mom, and their 8 cats, cherish these precious few trinkets of smooth, smooth wisdom.

The Week of 1000 Trades: Carmelo Anthony Edition

With the NBA just days away, I figured I commemorate the occasion with 1000 (give or take) trade ideas venturing from entertainingly absurd to soberly realistic.  Today, Carmelo Anthony scenarios.

Ranking The Careers of The Dunk Contest Winners

Today, I continue All-Star week at Diminishing Skills by ranking the careers--in actual games, not just dunk contests--of the past dunk contest winners.  Because aren't you just dying to know once-and-for-all who was better:  Harold Miner, or Fred Jones?

Why Cavs fans should cheer for an NBA lockout

On Monday's BS Report, NBA commissioner David Stern discussed the very real possiblity of the owners deciding to contract the New Orleans Hornets in the event of a lockout.  While I am almost positive this is just posturing by Stern to gain a little negotiating leverage on the owners' behalf, and while I most certainly don't wish any city to lose a sports franchise after what Cleveland went through with the Browns, if contraction is something that could happen, I definitely want it to happen this year.

 Why?  Dispersal draft, baby.  And, if things hold as they have, the Cavs would almost definitely be holding the first pick, which means hello Chris Paul (although that could then mean goodbye Chris Paul in 2012, but let's dream a little for now).  Going by the standings as of February 15, here's how I see a dispersal draft shaking out.

50 Most Wanted Jerseys Part 2: All-Star Edition

With the NBA All-Star Weekend coming up, Diminishing Skills will be dedicating an entire week to the festivities.  Today, we start things off with part 2 of our riveting 50 Most Wanted NBA Jerseys series.  Appropriately, this installment's focus is on desirable All-Star Game jerseys.  Enjoy.

One and Counting: That was fun while it lasted

Yikes.  If there has been a play that serves as a microcosm of the nightmare that is the 2010-11 Cleveland Cavaliers' season, it has to be John Wall's coast-to-coast layup with 4 seconds left at the end of the first half of the Cavs' 115-100 loss to the Washington Wizards Sunday night.  Wall's score came after a monstrous Christian Eyenga jam (whom some pals and I watched a minor league hockey game "with" one luxury suite over at the Q on Saturday night, and who by all indications does not understand the sport of hockey) that seemed to build some momentum for the hometown Cavs heading into the locker room.  And then Wall waltzed down the court to the opposite hoop, and the game was over, Eyenga's slam all but forgotten.  It was like Friday's exhilarating win over the Clippers (Eyenga's dunk) followed by Sunday's pathetic showing against the Wizards (Wall's layup) compressed into a 5-second sequence.  What a turd sandwich.