Back at the turn of the century, Britney Spears had just charmed America with "Oops I Did It Again" and Christina Aguilerra was still just a "Genie In A Bottle" (haha, I'm a fag). Before Britney could get all sweaty in "I'm A Slave 4 U" and Christina could completely whore out in "Dirrty" (the extra "r" is for "retarded"), Willa Ford had to bridge the gap from innocence to whoredom. I know this video isn't that funny, but c'mon, it's fucking hot. Also, check out Willa in Stuff, which is probably their best spread ever. You can also see her naked here.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
MLB Playoff Preview: National League
I was going to do an in-depth look at the NL playoffs just like I did for the
NY Mets over LA Dodgers, 3-2
NY Mets over
Anyone from the
Monday, October 02, 2006
MLB Playoff Preview: AL Divisional Series
The playoffs are here, and baseball matters again for the first time since April (at least for Indians fans). I love playoff baseball. It’s probably my second favorite postseason tournament—behind March Madness, of course. Every inning, every at bat, every pitch matters. When someone hits a walk-off homer or pitches a 2-hit shutout, you can feel the history being made. The intensity and anxiety you feel while watching a tight playoff game cannot be matched by any sport, March Madness included. So to get you, and myself, ready for the playoffs, here’s how I see the Divisional round playing out. (Although many factors can determine a playoff series, none is more important than the starting pitching match-ups. Therefore, I will focus on these starter match-ups in making my predictions. Also, since it’s late, I’m only hitting up the
Game 1: DET: Nate Robertson (13-13 3.84) vs. NYY: Chien-Ming Wang (19-6, 3.63)
Robertson was moved up in the rotation so Rogers wouldn’t have to pitch at Yankees Stadium, where he’s terrible, which really says a lot about whether Rogers is an ace or not. Robertson is a battler, but hardly a Game 1 starter. While Wang hardly seems like ace material himself, his style matches up against the Tigers offense splendidly. The Tigers score all of their runs with home runs; Wang trails only Brandon Webb in his ability to get ground balls. Yankees take Game 1 (
Game 2: DET: Justin Verlander (17-9, 3.63) vs. NYY: Mike Mussina (15-7, 3.51)
It’s experience versus youth as the wily vet Mussina faces off against the likely AL Rookie of the Year Verlander. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Mussina—who has been battling injuries—struggles, but I don’t think Verlander’s going to do much better. Verlander has never thrown this many innings before, and fatigue may set in early. With fatigue comes a loss of control, and, against perhaps the most patient lineup ever, wildness leads to a lot of baserunners and, more importantly, a lot of pitches. Watch for Verlander to get knocked out after 5 innings and for the Yankees to come back on
Game 3: NYY Randy Johnson (17-11, 5.00) vs. DET: Kenny Rogers (17-8, 3.84)
Exactly what Jim Leyland didn’t want: Kenny Rogers pitching a must-win game against the Yankees.
Game 1: OAK: Barry Zito (16-10, 3.83) vs. MIN: Johan Santana (19-6, 2.66)
The Metrodome is going to be rocking more than the Michigan-Minnesota game (but just barely), so the A’s are already going to be behind the 8-ball. Zito should keep the crowd at bay when the Twins are at bat, but the roof is going to come off as Santana buzzes through the
Game 2: OAK: Estaban Loaiza (11-9, 4.89) vs. MIN: Boof Bosner (7-6, 4.22)
This game is a slugfest to start, as both lineups tee-off on Loaiza and the Man Named Boof. With the games in the hands of the bullpens, the Twins take control after Mauer and Morneau beat up on the all-righty
Game 3: MIN: Brad Radke (12-9, 4.32) vs. OAK: Rich Harden (4-0, 4.24)
Facing a do-or-die, the A’s give Harden a chance to be an ace, and he doesn’t disappoint. Harden goes eight shutout innings, outlasting a courageous outing from the one-armed Brad Radke, and
Game 4: MIN: Johan Santana vs. OAK: Dan Haren (14-13, 4.12)
Santana is dominant yet again, but the lineup can’t get it going, and the Twins lose by one.
Game 5: OAK: Barry Zito vs. MIN: Carlos Silva (11-15, 5.94)
Zito can’t match Santana’s dominate effort in the previous game, while Silva is adequate. The Twins get an early lead and the bullpen squashes any chance of a comeback.
Early prediction for ALCS:
NL preview tomorrow.
Happenings on the INTERNET! 10/2/06
- Cracked.com has the '80s Movie Montage Hall of Fame.
- Gorillamask has the Indian (the curry kind, not the tomahawk kind) interpretation of Thriller.
- Filmwad.com has two deleted scenes from Borat's upcoming movie (via Gorillamask, of course).
- Something Awful takes a look at the worst of You Tube.
"I always use lotion and the hand": Actual transcript of Florida Representative Mark Foley's online chat with a 16-year old male Congressional Page
I know this is a bit of a departure from the usual sports and clips I have up here, but this is just too funny. I copied and pasted this from ABC News. You can see the original page here. Disgusting, but, wow, hi-larious. "Maf54" is Foley. As Opie and Anthony pointed out today, way to really hide your identity, Congressman. "Maf54"=Mark A. Foley, 54 Why not just make your screenname "Dirtyrottenpederastcongressmanfromfloridanamedmarkafoley54"? I've put Foley's text in red to represent the devil that he is and I've put the little lad's text in baby blue to convey his sweet, cast-loving innocence.
Maf54 (7:25:14 PM): hey
Auto response from Xxxxxxxxx (7:25:14 PM): scrounging for food…brb
Maf54 (7:25:25 PM): ok
Maf54 (7:25:35 PM): kep scrounging
Xxxxxxxxx (7:31:51 PM): boo
Maf54 (7:32:13 PM): bo dude
Xxxxxxxxx (7:32:17 PM): lol
Xxxxxxxxx (7:32:26 PM): whered ya go this afternoon
Maf54 (7:33:39 PM): i am in pensecola…had to catch a plane
Xxxxxxxxx (7:33:47 PM): oh well thats fun
Maf54 (7:34:04 PM): indeed
Xxxxxxxxx (7:34:14 PM): what are you doing in pensecola
Maf54 (7:34:21 PM): now in my hotel room
Xxxxxxxxx (7:34:39 PM): well ..like why did you go there
Maf54 (7:35:02 PM): for the campaign
Xxxxxxxxx (7:35:29 PM): have you officialy announced yt
Maf54 (7:35:45 PM): not yet
Xxxxxxxxx (7:36:06 PM): cool cool…
Hey, it's me. Sorry to interrupt, but this has all been innocent banter thus far, and you may not be ready for this, so I'm warning you,
JOHN PARR CREEP ALERT AHEAD!
Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing
Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:46 PM): tired and sore
Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:52 PM): i didnt no waltzing could make you sore
Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): from what
Xxxxxxxxx (7:38:34 PM): what do you mean from what
Xxxxxxxxx (7:38:42 PM): from waltzing…im sore from waltzing
Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): tahts good
Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage
Maf54 signed off at 7:39:37 PM.
Maf54 signed on at 7:40:35 PM.
Xxxxxxxxx (7:40:44 PM): got kicked off?
Maf54 (7:41:24 PM): must have
Xxxxxxxxx (7:41:57 PM): ugh tomorrow i have the first day of lacrosse practice
Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to watch that
Maf54 (7:42:33 PM): those great legs running
Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:38 PM): haha…they arent great
Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:45 PM): thats why we have conditioning
Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:56 PM): 2 days running….3 days lifting
Xxxxxxxxx (7:43:11 PM): every week
Xxxxxxxxx (7:43:14 PM): until the end of march
Maf54 (7:43:27 PM): well dont ruin my mental picture
Xxxxxxxxx (7:43:32 PM): oh lol…sorry
Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): nice
Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): youll be way hot then
Xxxxxxxxx (7:44:01 PM): haha…hopefully
Maf54 (7:44:22 PM): better be
Maf54 (7:46:01 PM): well I better let you go do oyur thing
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:07 PM): oh ok
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:11 PM): have fun campaigning
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:17 PM): or however you spell it
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:18 PM): lol
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:25 PM): ill see ya in a couple of weeks
Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:38 PM): lol no Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:40 PM): im single right now Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:57 PM): my last gf and i broke up a few weeks agi Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): are you Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny Xxxxxxxxx (7:47:29 PM): lol…a bit Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:04 PM): no Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:16 PM): been too tired and too busy Maf54 (7:48:33 PM): wow… Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:51 PM): haha Maf54 (7:50:02 PM): or tired..helps me sleep Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:15 PM): thats true Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:36 PM): havent been having a problem with sleep though.. i just walk in the door and collapse well at least this weekend Maf54 (7:50:56 PM): i am sure Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:57 PM): i dont do it very often normally though Maf54 (7:51:11 PM): why not Maf54 (7:51:22 PM): at your age seems like it would be daily Xxxxxxxxx (7:51:57 PM): not me Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:01 PM): im not a horn dog Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:07 PM): maybe 2 or 3 times a week Maf54 (7:52:20 PM): thats a good number Maf54 (7:52:27 PM): in the shower Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:36 PM): actually usually i dont do it in the shower Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:42 PM): just cause i shower in the morning Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:47 PM): and quickly Maf54 (7:52:50 PM): in the bed Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:59 PM): i get up at 530 and am outta the house by 610 Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:03 PM): eh ya Maf54 (7:53:24 PM): on your back Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:30 PM): no face down Maf54 (7:53:32 PM): love details Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:34 PM): lol Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:36 PM): i see that Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:37 PM): lol Maf54 (7:53:39 PM): really Maf54 (7:53:54 PM): do you really do it face down Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:03 PM): ya Maf54 (7:54:13 PM): kneeling Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:31 PM): well i dont use my hand…i use the bed itself Maf54 (7:54:31 PM): where do you unload it Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:36 PM): towel Maf54 (7:54:43 PM): really Maf54 (7:55:02 PM): completely naked? Xxxxxxxxx (7:55:12 PM): well ya Maf54 (7:55:21 PM): very nice Xxxxxxxxx (7:55:24 PM): lol Maf54 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:00 PM): haha Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:05 PM): well ive never watched myslef Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:08 PM): but ya i guess Maf54 (7:56:18 PM): i am sure not Maf54 (7:56:22 PM): hmmm Maf54 (7:56:30 PM): great visual Maf54 (7:56:39 PM): i may try that Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:43 PM): it works Maf54 (7:56:51 PM): hmm Maf54 (7:56:57 PM): sound inetersting Maf54 (7:57:05 PM): i always use lotion and the hand Maf54 (7:57:10 PM): but who knows Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:24 PM): i dont use lotion…takes too much time to clean up Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:37 PM): with a towel you can just wipe off….and go Maf54 (7:57:38 PM): lol Maf54 (7:57:45 PM): where do you throw the towel Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:48 PM): but you cant work it too hard….or its not good Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:51 PM): in the laundry Maf54 (7:58:16 PM): just kinda slow rubbing Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:23 PM): ya…. Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:32 PM): or youll rub yourslef raw Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:40 PM): cause the towell isnt very soft Maf54 (7:58:44 PM): i bet..taht would hurt Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:50 PM): but you cn find something softer than a towell i guess Maf54 (7:58:59 PM): but it must feel great spirting on the towel Xxxxxxxxx (7:59:06 PM): ya Maf54 (7:59:29 PM): wow Maf54 (7:59:48 PM): is your little guy limp…or growing Xxxxxxxxx (7:59:54 PM): eh growing Maf54 (8:00:00 PM): hmm Maf54 (8:00:12 PM): so you got a stiff one now Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:19 PM): not that fast Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:20 PM): hey Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:32 PM): so you have a fetich Maf54 (8:00:32 PM): hey what Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:40 PM): fetish** Maf54 (8:00:43 PM): like Maf54 (8:00:53 PM): i like steamroom Maf54 (8:01:04 PM): whats yours Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:09 PM): its kinda weird Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:14 PM): lol Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a rock..so tell me when your reaches rock Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:23 PM): i have a cast fetish Maf54 (8:01:27 PM): well tell me Maf54 (8:01:32 PM): cast Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:44 PM): ya like…plaster cast Maf54 (8:01:49 PM): ok..so what happens Maf54 (8:01:58 PM): how does that turn you in Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:02 PM): i dont know Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:04 PM): it just does Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:08 PM): ive never had one Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:16 PM): but people that have them turn me on Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:27 PM): and if i had one it would probably turn me on Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:29 PM): beats me Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:32 PM): its kinda weird Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:50 PM): but along with that i like the whole catholic girl look….thats our schools uniform Maf54 (8:03:02 PM): ha thats wild Xxxxxxxxx (8:03:14 PM): ya but now im hard Maf54 (8:03:32 PM): me 2 Maf54 (8:03:42 PM): cast got you going Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:04 PM): normal clothes Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:09 PM): tshirt and shorts Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you Xxxxxxxxx (8:05:08 PM): haha Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab Xxxxxxxxx (8:06:53 PM): not tonight…dont get to excited Maf54 (8:07:12 PM): well your hard Xxxxxxxxx (8:07:45 PM): that is true Maf54 (8:08:03 PM): and a little horny Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:11 PM): and also tru Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:38 PM): ive already told you that Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:49 PM): 7 and 1/2 Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful Xxxxxxxxx (8:09:38 PM): lol Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great size Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:00 PM): thank you Maf54 (8:10:22 PM): still stiff Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:28 PM): ya Maf54 (8:10:40 PM): take it out Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:54 PM): brb…my mom is yelling Maf54 (8:11:06 PM): ok Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:02 PM): back Maf54 (8:14:37 PM): cool hope se didnt see any thing Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:54 PM): no no Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:59 PM): she is computer dumb though Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:01 PM): it makes me so mad Maf54 (8:15:04 PM): good Maf54 (8:15:08 PM): haha Maf54 (8:15:11 PM): why Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:23 PM): cause she cant do anything Maf54 (8:15:31 PM): oh well Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:41 PM): she couldnt figure out how to download a file from an email and open it Maf54 (8:15:53 PM): haha Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:14 PM): and she only does it like a million times a day Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:16 PM): oh well Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:18 PM): whatever Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:53 PM): well i better go finish my hw…i just found out from a friend that i have to finish reading and notating a book for AP english Maf54 signed off at 8:17:43 PM. A few quick thoughts on this:
- If this weren't a conversation between a 54-year old Congressman and a 16-year old boy, I'd have to say that the boy comes out of this looking like the creep. A cast fetish? How in the hell could that "turn you in?" Unless...
- The boy was just stringing this perv along, which I'm kind of thinking he was. I mean, he said he was sore from waltzing, he said he had a cast fetish, he asked the Congressman if he had a fetish (and what the hell kind of fetish is "steamroom?"), and then he probably really did laugh out loud when the Congressman gave that exaggerated "ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm" after the kid told him his size. You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of when me and two of my other buddies signed onto AIM under a fake screenname and tricked our other buddy into cybersex. I can easily see this kid sitting there with his buddies and trying to see what they can get this perv to say. Like I said, hi-larious. Oh, and "Bo, dude" is how I'm greeting everyone online from now on.
Weekly Arrested Development: "This isn't a fever!"
Here's Tobias again. He's actually not even a main character on the show, but he may be the funniest and is certainly the easiest to find on Youtube. In my honest opinion, I think he nailed it.
Monday Night Football 10-2: Packers @ Eagles
I was scared to take the Eagles as my King of the Hill pick this week because they're playing Brett Favre on Monday Night. I didn't want to risk Favre having one of "those nights" on MNF. Even though he is insanely past his prime, he could still get lucky and five Packer receivers could somehow come up with his ill-advised, into triple coverage throws in the end zone. So I didn't pick the Eagles. When nothing's at stake, however, I can easily take a more talented Eagles team that should be 3-0 if they hadn't decided to leave the Giants game one quarter too early. So the pick is
PHILADELPHIA (-11) over Green Bay.
PHILADELPHIA (-11) over Green Bay.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Raiders versus Browns RECAP!
OFFENSE
- Let’s get the bad out of the way. Absolutely, without doubt, Charlie Frye shouldn’t have thrown that interception in the end zone. Everyone and their mother (seriously, my mom called me and asked what the fuck Chuck was doing) knows you don’t throw across the field, especially when you have as questionable arm strength as Frye does. The Browns had a three point lead, were in field goal range, and were facing an offense that had remembered who they were in the second half. There was no need to take a chance like that, and Frye needs to understand that. With all of that being said, however, I think that it was just a case of Frye’s competitiveness getting the best of him. He wanted to kill the Raiders right there, and while I can in no way condone the play, I can at least admire where the motivation for it was coming from.
- Reuben Droughns had his first 100 yard game of the season, but let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet. Coming in to today’s game,
- The passing game looked great, although I’ve heard some complaints that Kellen Winslow wasn’t involved enough. Haberdash. Frye did a great job spreading the ball around, hitting nine different receivers including a touchdown pass to Darnell Dinkins. Winslow, Harrison, and Jurevicius all came up with huge first down catches and Jurevicius made an amazing grab in the corner of the end zone for Frye’s third TD pass. Frye also made the smart play almost all game (save for the interception in the end zone) and put the ball exactly where it needed to be, even on incompletions (one such instance that stands out is when Frye was looking for Harrison running a wheel route and threw to the outside, so that even though it was incomplete, only Harrison could make a play on it).
- The play-calling was much improved, especially the use of screens against the aggressive
DEFENSE
- The run defense has to be a concern. Lamont
- I’d like to say the pass D was good, holding Walter to a 9/23, 68 yard day, but I don’t think it had much to do with our D. I wouldn’t necessarily say it was Walter’s fault either, since many of his throws were right on target. No, I’d say that the Raiders’ receivers are gutless, and it starts with Randy Moss, who had only one catch for 5 yards (albeit a touchdown catch). There were just too many instances where Walter would put the ball right in the recievers’ hands and they would just drop it, or where Walter would throw up a jump ball—usually to Moss—and the receivers just didn’t make the effort to get the ball.
SPECIAL TEAMS
- The real star of the game. The Browns racked up an astounding 217 yards on returns, and should have had three touchdowns out of them. First, Joshua Cribbs stepped on the sideline, then Janikowski caught Cribbs, and finally Shane Lechler corralled Dennis Northcutt. I think that our return game is quite strong, but I don’t think it’s this strong. Like their receivers, the Raiders special teams should be ashamed.
Happenings on the INTERNET! 10/1/06
- Something Awful has a new Fashion SWAT up, which is one the five funniest things written on the entire INTERNET.
- Outsports.com has a list of homoerotic things Phil Simms has said while announcing NFL games (via Gorillamask).
- Cleveland's own investigative reporter Carl Monday gets a taste of his own medicine from the Daily Show, and Deadspin has the video evidence.
- If you're bored, here's the most addicting game on the INTERNET.
- Peter Gammons continues ESPN.com's weeklong felating of Cleveland Indians centerfielder Grady Sizemore, and I must admit that I wish I could felate him as well.
- Seanbaby has finally updated his website and I somehow missed it. This site was the first non-porn site that fueled my addiction to the INTERNET and is quite funny, especially if you like Nintendo jokes and calling Aquaman gay. Enjoy.
NFL Picks: Week 4
NY JETS (+9) over Indianapolis
The Jets have been feisty this year, and I seem to remember Peyton Manning traditionally struggling against the Jets throughout his career. (The Colts better win outright, though. They're my King of the Hill team this week.)
San Diego (-2.5) over BALTIMORE
Baltimore had trouble handling the Browns, so what are they going to do against an actual NFL team?
Minnesota (+1) over BUFFALO
I’m still not buying the Bills, although Willis McGahee looks like he’s bounced back from a down year last season. And can you believe I just talked about the Vikings without mentioning Brad Childress’s mustache? (Dammit.)
Dallas (-9) over TENNESSEE
Vince Young gets his first career start against one of the top 5 defenses in the league. Good luck, kid.
San Francisco (+7) over KANSAS CITY
I know it’s a bit crazy to take a road dog, and that it’s crazier to take a road dog at Arrowhead, and that it’s eating-my-own-shit crazy to take a road dog at Arrowhead when that road dog is San Francisco, but I just can’t pick a team quarterbacked by Brock (or Damon) Huard to score seven points, let alone cover seven.
New Orleans (+7) over CAROLINA
I heard the guy who inspired the hit movie Two for the Money say something about how Carolina never covers at home, so I’ll go with him even though it really seems like the Saints are in for a letdown.
ATLANTA (-7.5) over Arizona
This is going to be one of those games where Atlanta is only up by four with two minutes left and then Kurt Warner throws a pick that D’Angelo Hall returns for a seemingly meaningless touchdown that just happens to cover. Mark it down.
Miami (-3.5) over HOUSTON
If Daunte Culpepper can’t get it going against the same Texans D that made Mark Brunnell look like Rich Gannon, then the Dolphins may start wishing they had that second round pick they gave Minnesota back.
ST. LOUIS (-5.5) over Detroit
Hey Detroit fans, how ‘bout them Tigers? You better hope they pull a White Sox and storm to the World Series, because they’re all you’ve got until the WNBA season starts back up (go Sparks!).
New England (+5.5) over CINCINNATI
Chad Johnson is so much fun that he actually got Bill Belichick to start talking shit. And when Belichick is talking shit, he must be pretty goddamn confident in his gameplan. So watch out, Bengals.
Jacksonville (-2.5) over WASHINGTON
Mark Brunnell may become the first man ever to throw 22 straight completions one week and then throw 22 straight incompletions the next. The Jaguars D is fierce, in a predatory cat kind of way, not a sharply dressed man kind of way.
Cleveland (-2.5) over OAKLAND
Charlie Frye and the Browns won in Oakland last year when the Raiders had at least a smidgen of competence in their pirate bones. If the Brownies lay an egg today, I’m done with them for the year.
Seattle (+3) over CHICAGO
This should be a hell of a game. I know Shaun Alexander is out, but Rex Grossman hasn’t seen a defense like Seattle’s yet. I’m picking the Seahawks’ D to win this one.
I’ll have my Monday night pick tomorrow.
The Jets have been feisty this year, and I seem to remember Peyton Manning traditionally struggling against the Jets throughout his career. (The Colts better win outright, though. They're my King of the Hill team this week.)
San Diego (-2.5) over BALTIMORE
Baltimore had trouble handling the Browns, so what are they going to do against an actual NFL team?
Minnesota (+1) over BUFFALO
I’m still not buying the Bills, although Willis McGahee looks like he’s bounced back from a down year last season. And can you believe I just talked about the Vikings without mentioning Brad Childress’s mustache? (Dammit.)
Dallas (-9) over TENNESSEE
Vince Young gets his first career start against one of the top 5 defenses in the league. Good luck, kid.
San Francisco (+7) over KANSAS CITY
I know it’s a bit crazy to take a road dog, and that it’s crazier to take a road dog at Arrowhead, and that it’s eating-my-own-shit crazy to take a road dog at Arrowhead when that road dog is San Francisco, but I just can’t pick a team quarterbacked by Brock (or Damon) Huard to score seven points, let alone cover seven.
New Orleans (+7) over CAROLINA
I heard the guy who inspired the hit movie Two for the Money say something about how Carolina never covers at home, so I’ll go with him even though it really seems like the Saints are in for a letdown.
ATLANTA (-7.5) over Arizona
This is going to be one of those games where Atlanta is only up by four with two minutes left and then Kurt Warner throws a pick that D’Angelo Hall returns for a seemingly meaningless touchdown that just happens to cover. Mark it down.
Miami (-3.5) over HOUSTON
If Daunte Culpepper can’t get it going against the same Texans D that made Mark Brunnell look like Rich Gannon, then the Dolphins may start wishing they had that second round pick they gave Minnesota back.
ST. LOUIS (-5.5) over Detroit
Hey Detroit fans, how ‘bout them Tigers? You better hope they pull a White Sox and storm to the World Series, because they’re all you’ve got until the WNBA season starts back up (go Sparks!).
New England (+5.5) over CINCINNATI
Chad Johnson is so much fun that he actually got Bill Belichick to start talking shit. And when Belichick is talking shit, he must be pretty goddamn confident in his gameplan. So watch out, Bengals.
Jacksonville (-2.5) over WASHINGTON
Mark Brunnell may become the first man ever to throw 22 straight completions one week and then throw 22 straight incompletions the next. The Jaguars D is fierce, in a predatory cat kind of way, not a sharply dressed man kind of way.
Cleveland (-2.5) over OAKLAND
Charlie Frye and the Browns won in Oakland last year when the Raiders had at least a smidgen of competence in their pirate bones. If the Brownies lay an egg today, I’m done with them for the year.
Seattle (+3) over CHICAGO
This should be a hell of a game. I know Shaun Alexander is out, but Rex Grossman hasn’t seen a defense like Seattle’s yet. I’m picking the Seahawks’ D to win this one.
I’ll have my Monday night pick tomorrow.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Classic TV: "I don't have to take an acting class! I look like a blueberry!"
Going old school with a clip from MTV's sketch comedy show "The State." Enjoy.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Classic Movie Moments: "You wanna play some baseball?"
The drug deal scene from "Boogie Nights." This is one of the more intense, funny, depressing, and insane scenes from any movie I have ever scene. There's great acting (Tom Jane really stands out), great music (nowadays anybody could be really good friends with Rick Springfield) and amazing direction. And Jesus, Cosmo, could you stop it with the goddamn firecrackers? (I guess he is Chinese, though.)
College Picks 9-27-06
Here are my picks for this week’s college football matches involving teams from the AP Top 25 (because Jim Tressell proved how worthless the Coach’s Poll is during the week leading up to the
#1
Being an Ohio State fan, I am very much aware of their struggles in night games (the Northwestern game from 2004 stands out, but that could be because A) I told everyone it was going to happen before the season even started and B) my buddy Nick puked all over the local BW3’s and then got into a fist fight with a Michigan fan). However, two factors have me feeling extremely confident that this game will be over by halftime. One,
- This is the first true night game in the history of Kinnick Stadium, which leads me to believe that the Hawkeyes aren’t exactly grizzled veterans when it comes to prime-time football.
#2
I’m not supremely confident with this pick after seeing how little scoring
#3 USC (-14) over
No explanation needed I hope.
Thirteen just seems like a huge spread for an SEC game that doesn’t involve Vanderbilt or
#6
Are you kidding me?
Not because I think
Ole Miss (+13) over #10
#24
Not only is Virginia Tech not going to cover, they’re going to lose. Georgia Tech is my darling, and I’d trust Calvin Johnson to catch my balls with the warmth and gentleness of an Asian masseuse even if Brett Favre was rifling them through double coverage to him.
#12 Notre Dame (-14.5) over Purdue
I think the Fighting Irish found themselves in that comeback over
I don’t think the Ducks will cover, but they will win. (Just seeing if you’re paying attention.)
#15
There’s no way the Vols lose to in-state rivals two years in a row (Vanderbilt beat them last year).
#17 TCU (-7) over BYU
If you’re betting on this game, there’s numbers you can call.
#18 Clemson (-33) over
I usually am scared away by big spreads, but what the hell. Let’s just hope that whichever Bowden is coaching the Tigers continues to eschew extra points for two point conversions, as he did in Clemson’s win over
#20
Only 10? Is there something about
#21
#22
This one’s coming down to the wire with no more than a field goal deciding it.
South Florida (+3.5) over #23
I’m afraid
#25
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Happenings on the INTERNET! 9/26/06
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Diminishing Skills Music Video Hall of Fame: John Parr "Naughty Naughty"
Haha. This one's for my main man Chad. Watch the chick at the beginning. I'm pretty sure she slaps him because she is his daughter or niece or something. John Parr, you're a fucking creep.
Power Poll Rankings of the 32 Best NFL Teams In the Land (Week 4)
Last week’s ranking in parentheses.
32.
The Raiders didn’t even play last week, and yet I have an intense urge to drop them further.
31.
Say what you will about how shitty Chris Simms was (and he was quite shitty), but the guy’s got guts for playing with a ruptured spleen. Of course, he now has one less gut, but still.
30.
The Texans D somehow made the Washington Redskins offense look dangerous. Plus, they gave up a record 22 straight completions to a corpse.
29.
How good would Drew Bennett (16 catches, 235 yards) be if he had anyone other than Kerry Collins throwing to him? Don’t worry. We’ll know in one or two weeks.
28.
It’s stupid how close the Lions are to being the worst franchise in any sport of the new millennium.
27.
Do-or-die time, Brownies. If you don’t beat the Raiders this week, I am done watching you for the year.
26.
I don’t really think they’re this bad, but as long as Damon (or is it Brock?) Huard is their starting QB, they will remain in the company of these other boobs.
25.
21 more TD passes until Brett Favre breaks Dan Marino’s all-time record, which also means 21 more TD passes until Favre has no reason left to play.
24. N.Y. Giants 1-2 (11)
The Giants are one quarter and an overtime period away from being 0-3, and two quarters and an overtime period away from being 0-3 with a point differential of 92 against versus 31 for, or -61 points (their actual point differential is 92 against versus 81 for, but 44 of the Giants’ points have come in the fourth quarters of their last two games and 6 came on that overtime touchdown by Plaxico Burress versus the Eagles). Ouch.
23.
I would like to whole-heartedly thank the 49ers for getting steamrolled by the Eagles and for helping me stay alive in my King of the Hill contest. If I were there in San Fran, boys, you could certainly expect a kiss on each and every one of your starfishes.
22. 21. 22.
If Dennis Green can jerk around naming his starting QB on consecutive days, then I can jerk around with the Cardinals’ ranking. And I know you’re reading, Dennis, so could you just stick with Warner for the sake of my fantasy team? Please?
21.
Did that game against Houston prove that this is a different team when Clinton Portis is playing, or did it just remind everyone that Houston and number one pick Mario “I can’t even believe they passed on Bush” Williams are the worst defense in recent memory?
20.
Shouldn’t their helmets have a picture of a duck with an arrow pointing at its beak, or should I say bill?
19.
Congratulations,
18.
Why the drop? Well, according to my source in
17.
Kurt Warner finally paid back the Rams for giving him a shot as a starter by handing
16. N.Y. Jets 2-1 (16)
A tough win over a divisional opponent doesn’t move you anywhere when that divisional opponent is the Buffalo Bills.
15.
15.
Sure, the Steelers got soundly thumped by the Bengals, and yes, the Panthers struggled against the Bucs, but I’m not anywhere near ready to write these two off yet.
13.
I fear the day when the Vikings go on a losing streak and Brad Childress feels compelled to shave his ‘stache to turn the tide. Don’t do it, Brad! Please, God, don’t!
12.
I know the Falcons were in a no-win situation against the Saints, but c’mon. It looked like Jim Mora, Jr. and his staff honestly thought that no one could ever stop their running game, so they therefore didn’t even bother working on the passing game. I know Mike Vick isn’t ever going to be Peyton Manning, but the guy’s got some skill. There’s no way he’s that bad throwing the ball unless he and his receivers just never got the time needed to work together.
11.
Guess what? I’m still not buying it. The Saints have won against the Browns, the Packers, and in a game that there was absolutely no way they were going to lose. I heard Chris Myers today on Fox Sports Radio talking about how the Saints have become
10.
So they got beat by Indy in Indy. Big deal. They’ll get the Colts back in
9.
I’d bitch at these guys for scheduling pasties (
8.
I have vocally supported the Deion Branch trade, and will continue to do so, but maybe the Pats should have checked with Tom Brady before pulling the trigger. Not only does Brady lack any kind of trust in his receivers, he seems to genuinely despise them.
7.
The Eagles should be 3-0, although it still wouldn’t be that impressive since those wins (or should-be wins) have come against the Texans, the Giants, and the 49ers. Up next:
6.
Even though Shaun Alexander is out indefinitely (as my good friend and fantasy opponent Bob has pointed out about 73 times in the past 18 hours), I don’t see it affecting this team that much. Alexander hasn’t done shit this year, and now that he’s out, he’ll still be doing shit. Looks like a push to me.
5.
It looks like the Broncos are going to have one of those years where every week they’re going to look like shit—win or lose—and the next thing you know they have a first round bye in the playoffs. Ugh.
4.
The bye week hurt the Cowboys, but helps the Chargers as I completely forgot about them until now.
3.
They did what they were supposed to, holding serve at home against the Jaguars. Once they beat the Jags in
2.
The Bears have just set the record for being the fastest team to ever clinch a divisional title, having already beaten all three of their NFC North brothers.
1.
The Bengals should join the Bears following
Monday, September 25, 2006
Monday Night Football: Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints
A few quick thoughts on the first half of the Monday Night Football game…
• Isn’t it strange that New Orleans is welcoming back the Saints since we all know it’s the Saints’ fault that Hurricane Katrina kicked as much ass as it did? Think about it. In 2000, the Saints fired Mike Ditka, and, as we all know, if Ditka fights a hurricane, Ditka wins (unless the hurricane’s name is Ditka).
• Leave it to ESPN to make me actually cheer against the Saints with their sappy coverage of New Orleans and the devastation the city has seen. Thank God they’ve kept their 9/11 coverage low-key and to a minimum.
• Why the hell is the Packers/Eagles game on Monday night?
• Alge Crumpler just dropped two relatively easy touchdown passes. Did Ryan Hamby cover himself in shoe polish and steal Crumpler’s jersey?
• With about 4 minutes left in the first quarter, Reggie Bush ran a counter, danced in the hole, and got dropped for a 3 yard loss. On the next play, Bush ran a draw, hit the hole hard, and picked up 5 yards. It is rare to see a rookie make such quick adjustments, and serves as further proof that Bush is going to be a hell of a player very soon.
• Devery Henderson just scored on a double reverse. There’s one of Sean Payton’s infamous, and I mean no offense to anyone, Jap plays in action.
• New Orleans punter Steve Weatherford has more tattoos than every other punter in NFL history combined, not including Chris Gardocki, of course, who has a slash tattooed on his back for every punt he has that doesn’t get blocked (the count is making its way around his taint and should have his banana and nuts covered by the end of the season).
• Warrick Dunn is 22 on the NFL’s all-time rushing yards list. That is astounding. With the advances in medical technology, the lengthening of the schedule, and the fact that players don’t have to work in the off-season (as they did up until the 70s) and can concentrate on training, I predict that in 20 years the top 25 all-time rushers will have all played after 1990.
• Interesting how Mike Tirico had to throw ABC in when listing the news networks that carried Katrina coverage (CNN and Fox News were the other two). Do you really think that ABC was people’s third choice or do you think the bosses at Disney (which owns both ABC and ESPN) made sure Tirico included ABC? Or do you think Tirico was just kissing ass?
• I know I’m a bit of a dick, and am openly rooting for Atlanta to break New Orleans’ collective heart. But Joe Horn just got a standing O after going up high over the middle to make a catch and getting drilled. I hate to say it, but it was a genuinely cool moment.
• Tirico: “DeLoach just picked up a silly flag.” I wish they actually had a “silly flag” for stupid penalties, one with polka dots and streamers and shit. That would be fun.
• U2 & Green Day: Nothing says “New Orleans” like a self-righteous rock group from Ireland and a played-out punk band from Orange County.
• Kornheiser, following the Saints blocking a field goal: “How good do you feel if you’re a member of the Saints or a fan of the Saints?” implying that they’re feeling good because a hurricane destroyed their city and this is offering an escape. News flash, Tony. If the Browns had just had a half like the Saints did, I and every other person in Northeast Ohio would be pretty goddamn happy, just as I’m sure actual members of the Browns would be. And with that, I fear that the Saints are going to roll to victory. If this game has proven anything, it’s that when the Falcons are in a close game and can just pound the ball, they’re pretty damn good, but when a team opens up a lead on them and forces Vick to pass, they’re extremely beatable. We’ll see how it plays out.
And some non-MNF notes…
• First Shaun Alexander goes down, and now Kurt Warner just got benched. It’s looking pretty bleak for the Battered Roast Beef 2006 Fantasy Football Club.
• The Indians just crushed the White Sox, 14-1, highlighted by Casey Blake hitting the team’s 14th grand slam of the season. I guarantee that the Indians will score one or less runs the next game. It’s just been that kind of season.
• For those that care, you can see the entire Matt Hughes fight from Saturday here.
• Isn’t it strange that New Orleans is welcoming back the Saints since we all know it’s the Saints’ fault that Hurricane Katrina kicked as much ass as it did? Think about it. In 2000, the Saints fired Mike Ditka, and, as we all know, if Ditka fights a hurricane, Ditka wins (unless the hurricane’s name is Ditka).
• Leave it to ESPN to make me actually cheer against the Saints with their sappy coverage of New Orleans and the devastation the city has seen. Thank God they’ve kept their 9/11 coverage low-key and to a minimum.
• Why the hell is the Packers/Eagles game on Monday night?
• Alge Crumpler just dropped two relatively easy touchdown passes. Did Ryan Hamby cover himself in shoe polish and steal Crumpler’s jersey?
• With about 4 minutes left in the first quarter, Reggie Bush ran a counter, danced in the hole, and got dropped for a 3 yard loss. On the next play, Bush ran a draw, hit the hole hard, and picked up 5 yards. It is rare to see a rookie make such quick adjustments, and serves as further proof that Bush is going to be a hell of a player very soon.
• Devery Henderson just scored on a double reverse. There’s one of Sean Payton’s infamous, and I mean no offense to anyone, Jap plays in action.
• New Orleans punter Steve Weatherford has more tattoos than every other punter in NFL history combined, not including Chris Gardocki, of course, who has a slash tattooed on his back for every punt he has that doesn’t get blocked (the count is making its way around his taint and should have his banana and nuts covered by the end of the season).
• Warrick Dunn is 22 on the NFL’s all-time rushing yards list. That is astounding. With the advances in medical technology, the lengthening of the schedule, and the fact that players don’t have to work in the off-season (as they did up until the 70s) and can concentrate on training, I predict that in 20 years the top 25 all-time rushers will have all played after 1990.
• Interesting how Mike Tirico had to throw ABC in when listing the news networks that carried Katrina coverage (CNN and Fox News were the other two). Do you really think that ABC was people’s third choice or do you think the bosses at Disney (which owns both ABC and ESPN) made sure Tirico included ABC? Or do you think Tirico was just kissing ass?
• I know I’m a bit of a dick, and am openly rooting for Atlanta to break New Orleans’ collective heart. But Joe Horn just got a standing O after going up high over the middle to make a catch and getting drilled. I hate to say it, but it was a genuinely cool moment.
• Tirico: “DeLoach just picked up a silly flag.” I wish they actually had a “silly flag” for stupid penalties, one with polka dots and streamers and shit. That would be fun.
• U2 & Green Day: Nothing says “New Orleans” like a self-righteous rock group from Ireland and a played-out punk band from Orange County.
• Kornheiser, following the Saints blocking a field goal: “How good do you feel if you’re a member of the Saints or a fan of the Saints?” implying that they’re feeling good because a hurricane destroyed their city and this is offering an escape. News flash, Tony. If the Browns had just had a half like the Saints did, I and every other person in Northeast Ohio would be pretty goddamn happy, just as I’m sure actual members of the Browns would be. And with that, I fear that the Saints are going to roll to victory. If this game has proven anything, it’s that when the Falcons are in a close game and can just pound the ball, they’re pretty damn good, but when a team opens up a lead on them and forces Vick to pass, they’re extremely beatable. We’ll see how it plays out.
And some non-MNF notes…
• First Shaun Alexander goes down, and now Kurt Warner just got benched. It’s looking pretty bleak for the Battered Roast Beef 2006 Fantasy Football Club.
• The Indians just crushed the White Sox, 14-1, highlighted by Casey Blake hitting the team’s 14th grand slam of the season. I guarantee that the Indians will score one or less runs the next game. It’s just been that kind of season.
• For those that care, you can see the entire Matt Hughes fight from Saturday here.
Weekly Arrested Development Clip: Tobias Funke is growing hair in unexpected places
Arrested Development was the funniest show to ever be aired on television. Unfortunately, no one ever watched it. That's cool. Whatever. But just so I can talk about the show's funnier moments with friends, I've decided to have a weekly clip, just to give you a little taste of what you've missed. In this first clip, you'll meet Tobias Funke, who you'll learn once held down two professions at once. Enjoy.
Arrested Development re-runs are being aired on G4 (channel 130 on Time Warner Digital Cable locally) every weekday night at 11:30. All three seasons are also on DVD, so if you like, check them the fuck out.
Arrested Development re-runs are being aired on G4 (channel 130 on Time Warner Digital Cable locally) every weekday night at 11:30. All three seasons are also on DVD, so if you like, check them the fuck out.
Monday Night Football 9-25-06
I'm not doing another log. How many more jokes can I make about Michael Irvin being retarded?
Instead, just a quick pick. Everything about me says the Falcons should just run all over the Saints. Sure, New Orleans is 2-0, but they've beat the Browns and the Packers, and they almost blew the game against a Browns team whose entire offense was Charlie Frye running around for his life and winging it down field to Kellen Winslow. But all logic goes out the window in the first game in a city that was utterly destroyed one year ago. If this were any other game, Atlanta wins by more than 2 touchdowns. Circumstances being what they are, however, the Falcons win on a last-second field goal kicked by none other than New Orleans fave, Morten Andersen, and everyone goes home happy.
Instead, just a quick pick. Everything about me says the Falcons should just run all over the Saints. Sure, New Orleans is 2-0, but they've beat the Browns and the Packers, and they almost blew the game against a Browns team whose entire offense was Charlie Frye running around for his life and winging it down field to Kellen Winslow. But all logic goes out the window in the first game in a city that was utterly destroyed one year ago. If this were any other game, Atlanta wins by more than 2 touchdowns. Circumstances being what they are, however, the Falcons win on a last-second field goal kicked by none other than New Orleans fave, Morten Andersen, and everyone goes home happy.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Power Poll Rankings of the 32 Best NFL Teams In the Land (Week 3)
32.
They’re not, uh… they’re not good.
31.
The Titans just traded Billy Volek to the Chargers, ending my crazy fantasy experiment of drafting him and Drew Bennett and having them go nuts whenever the Titans faced a team with a great offense but shitty pass D. Unfortunately, Jeff Fisher decided it was more prudent to go with Kerry Collins and his 1.9 QB rating. Alas, I can only wonder what could have been.
30.
Where’s Shaun King when you need him?
29.
If the Texans could play D, they might be alright (league worst 67 points given up in the first two games). Man, if only they had taken some defense with the first pick instead of reaching for the stars with Regg- Oh, that’s right. Never mind.
28.
The best news about this week: a showdown with
27.
Most people hated when Roy Williams said it was “stupid” how close the Lions were to scoring 40 in their 9-6 loss to the Seahawks. I think it was the greatest moment thus far in this young 2006 NFL season.
26.
I never thought I’d see Brett Favre lose two games in a row at Lambeau. Of course, that was 6 years ago when I figured Favre had 2 years left tops.
25.
The ‘Skins offense has been atrocious, but you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Portis is hurt, and Brunell’s been playing the whole year despite dying in Week 15 of last season. How terribly, terribly courageous.
24.
Now can people stop projecting partial season numbers over an entire year—as was done when Larry Johnson was predicted to rush for 2000+ yards—or is Chad Pennington actually going to throw for 5000 yards this year?
23.
I think Duante Culpepper is on the take. How he can go from having one of the top three QB seasons of all time in 2004 to what he is today is beyond explanation other than a Columbian drug cartel has kidnapped his daughter and he has to throw games for them so they can win some supplemental income (you know, extra money) to help out with the bills (because everyone knows nobody buys cocaine anymore) until John Matrix can save his daughter by telling Bennett to let off some steam. Sweet movie, man, fucking sweet movie.
22.
21.
20.
I’m not fucking buying it.
19.
18.
Both teams have won disgustingly ugly games and lost to teams they shouldn’t have (
17.
They would be higher if they had gone through with plans to name their stadium Pink Taco Stadium.
16. NY Jets 1-1
The Jets have looked as feisty as Suzy Kolber thus far. A shootout with
15.
“But they haven’t won!” you scream. “I’m scared of Panthers and black people and especially of black people wearing a black panther on their helmets!” my grandmother screams. To both of you I say the Panthers will not drop below 15 until they have 8 losses. They’ve pulled this shit before only to make anyone who has written them off (me) look like an asshole. Besides, Steve Smith hasn’t been in for them yet. Oh, and just a little FYI, put all of the money you and everyone you know has on the Panthers in their rematch with
14.
Bill Cowher and Jerry Porter engage in homosexual activity with each other, and it only strengthens the resolve of the team. So there you go, bigots of the world.
13.
The Cowboys got outmanned by the manliest team in the NFL (
11. NY Giants 1-1
11.
Really, the records should be NY .25-1.75 and Philly 1.75-.25 since Philly killed the Giants for three quarters. Seriously, though, Eli Manning, though not nearly the QB his brother is, has nuts Peyton only dreams about (and we can only hope that Peyton dreams about Eli’s massive sack).
10.
I don’t know what to say except Brad Childress Mustache Rides better be the next sex scandal to come from this team.
9.
Thanks a fucking lot, Shaun Alexander. Way to fucking mail it in after getting the big check. Fucking piece of shit has yet to produce anything for the Battered Roast Beefs (my fantasy team) or the Seahawks. And yet both teams are still 2-0. I somehow don’t see that lasting unless Shaun gets his act together.
8.
Sure, they barely beat two inferior teams, but those inferior teams were divisional opponents, who I’m told are the best kind of opponents. The Patriots never blow people out anyway.
5.
5.
5.
All three of these teams have blown out each of their first two opponents. It must be noted, however, that all of these teams’ opponents came from a pool including
4.
Chad Johnson is the most entertaining man playing sports today. I have no joke or anything. Just fact on this one.
3.
Reggie Wayne + Marvin Harrison +Peyton Manning – Edgerrin James = 5000 yards passing for Peyton, who will then, if early season projections are correct, finish just behind Chad Pennington for the passing title.
2.
The Falcons are the Bizarro Colts as Michael Vick will become the first quarterback to ever run for more yards than he passes for.
1.
I know I said in my Monday Night log that I wouldn’t make knee-jerk reaction about the Jags, but facts are facts: they’re the only 2-0 team to beat two quality opponents, which means they’re the only team to beat two quality opponents since if you’re not a 2-0 team, you didn’t beat any two opponents, regardless of quality. And with that moment of clarity, I bid you a fucking adieu.
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